The Best Breast

I’m a bit hesitant to share, but this is a true story as written back in 2007.

The Best Breast was written by Dr. John Tebbetts, a well-known plastic surgeon in Dallas. I would like breast augmentation and since he is highly rated, I called for a consultation.

Karen: Do you have any children Ms. Baker?

Me: Yes, I have one son.

Karen: Did you breast feed?

Me: No, I am a transgender woman and I am actually the dad.

Karen: Please hold.

Holding………
Holding………

Karen: Renee

Me: Yes

Karen: We don’t operate on transgender women.

Me: Oh, why is that?

Karen: It is just our personal preference.

Me: OK, thank you. Goodbye.

Karen: Goodbye

So, I sit there thinking that Dr. Tebbetts just doesn’t want transwomen. Ten minutes pass and I’m stewing over the conversation. I decide some things in life are worth having a bit of anger over. I call back, to give Dr. Tebbetts a chance to explain.

Me: Hi, this is Dr. Renee Baker. I was just turned down surgery because I was a transgender woman. May I speak to Dr. Tebbetts?

Woman: You must have spoke with Karen. Please hold…

Holding…..
Holding….
Holding…..
Holding…..

Karen: Hi this is Karen.

Me: Hi Karen, I wondered if I could talk to Dr. Tebbetts please to understand why I am being turned down for breast augmentation.

Karen: (Tension and frustration.) I will tell you why. (I guess they have their story straight now.) You are technically still a male and we have a small staff here and are not equipped to dealing with males. Males wakeup agressively after anasthesia.

Me: I am hormonally reassigned and don’t have testosterone in my blood anymore.

Karen: We just aren’t staffed for men.

Me: Okay, thank you.

Karen: Click

So, there you have it. I let it rest at this point. I guess I won’t have The Best Breast, but I will still have my integrity.

Ya’ll have a good day, and if you see an honest looking chick with silicone breast inserts in a bra that doesn’t fill out, tell her she’s got nice boobs anyway! 🙂

Copyright 2007 – Renee Baker

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The Knots Prayer

A school friend of mine gave this prayer on a bookmark.  It is really a beautiful prayer and affirmation.

The Knots Prayer

Dear God,
please untie the knots
that are in my mind,
my heart and my life.
Remove the have nots,
the can nots and the do nots
that I have in my mind.

Erase the will nots,
may nots, and
might nots that find
a home in my heart.

Release me from the could nots,
would nots and
should nots that obstruct my life.

And most of all, dear God,
I ask that you remove from my mind
my heart and my life all of the am nots
that I have allowed to hold me back,
especially the thought
that I am not good enough.

Amen.

(author known to God)

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50 Tips for Counselors: A Compilation of Irvin Yalom’s Advice


Fifty Tips for Counselors:

A Compilation of Irvin Yalom’s Advice

Renee Baker, Ph.D.

The following is a list of tips and tidbits I consolidated from Irvin Yalom’s book The Gift of Therapy – An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients (Perennial first edition, 2003).  The book is terrific and I recommend reading it.  This list below is not comprehensive, but provides a nice quick reference of things to remember.  Yalom works from an existential and interpersonal framework – people fall into despair because of relationships that do not satisfy or due to the harsh facts of the human condition.  The tips follow the sequence of the book – material is paraphrased excepting direct quotes which are his.   See also 50 More Tips, coming soon.

  1. “Therapy should not be theory driven, but relationship driven” (p. xviii)
  2. Karen Horney influenced Yalom with the notion that the human being has an inbuilt propensity towards self-actualization.  The job of the therapist is then to identify and remove obstacles, the rest following from the innate tendency of the client to grow.
  3. Avoid diagnosis as “diagnosis is counterproductive in the everyday psychotherapy of less severely impaired patients.” (p. 4) Why?  Therapy is an unfolding where the therapist gets to know the client over time…a diagnosis is limiting and can act as a self-fulfilling prophecy.
  4. Think of your clients as fellow travelers, rather than dividing into healers and the afflicted – we are all in this together and no person has immunity to the tragedies of existence.
  5. The relationship with the client should take top priority.  Each hour, check in with the client on the therapist-client relationship – how are we doing today?
  6. Be generous with sharing your positive thoughts and feelings about clients, but be genuine and avoid empty compliments.
  7. Have accurate empathy for your clients – they benefit immensely from being fully seen and understood.
  8. Use the here and now to help clients learn empathy themselves, asking clients how their statements and actions might affect others, not forgetting to include yourself, the therapist.
  9. Share your thoughts or dreams of your clients with them, if productive.  “Let your patients matter to you, to let them enter your mind, influence you, change you – and not conceal this from them.” (p. 28)
  10. Share your errors and acknowledge it directly – admit mistakes – it is good model setting.  “Therapist disclosure begets patient disclosure.” (p. 29).”
  11. Invent a new therapy for each client and allow choices to flow spontaneously rather than following any standardized protocols.  Transcend technique and trust one’s spontaneous moves.
  12. “Recall the fundamental therapy principle that all that happens is grist for the mill.” (p. 36)
  13. Learn from clients and make it a point to check in with them to see what is helpful about the therapy process.
  14. Demonstrate your willingness to your client to enter into a deeply intimate relationship with them.  “Therapists must show the way to patients by personal modeling.” (p. 40)
  15. Self exploration should continue throughout life, including entering therapy at various stages of life.
  16. There is an inequality in the therapeutic relationship – the teacher has many students and the students have but one teacher.
  17. Use the here and now as a major source of therapeutic power – it refers to the events of the therapeutic hour and to what is happening here in this office and relationship.
  18. The importance of using the here and now is based upon assumptions of the importance of interpersonal relationships and the idea of therapy as a social microcosm.  Our interpersonal environment influences us and our self image is formulated to a large degree based upon what we perceive important figures in our lives appraise us to be.  “The interpersonal problems of the patient will manifest themselves in the here-and-now of the therapy relationship.” (p.48)
  19. You must develop here-and-now rabbit ears noting that every person reacts differently to the same stimulus. “Each patient has a different internal world and the stimulus has a different meaning to each.” (p.50).
  20. Find here-and-now equivalents of dysfunctional behavior regarding interpersonal interactions a client is concerned about.
  21. Working in the here-and-now is concrete compared to an abstract or historical focus.  “Therapy is energized when it focuses on the relationship between therapist and patient.” (p. 64)
  22. Use your own feelings as precious and valuable information.  If a client bores you for example, then they may likely bore others as well.  Use that.  Say to the client, “I notice I have been feeling disconnected from you, somewhat distanced…is your feeling similar?…let’s try and understand what is happening.” (p. 66)
  23. Frame here-and-now comments carefully such that they are caring and acceptable to clients.
  24. Sometimes comment on the current moment’s experience and other times note it for reference later.
  25. “Effective therapy consists of an alternating sequence: evocation and experiencing of affect followed by analysis and integration of affect.” (p. 71)
  26. Check in with your client as to how the relationship between you and them is going – each therapy hour – how are you working together, how are you relating. (p. 72)
  27. When clients happen do describe times of deception in their lives, use the opportunity to inquire as to the lies they may have told you or what they may have concealed, perhaps out of shame. (p. 74)
  28. Forget the blank screen model of the ideal therapist (i.e. remaining neutral and disengaged) – “it is a better model to think of understanding the pats in order to apprehend the present therapist-patient relationhnship.”  Become engage, disclose, as disclosure begets disclosure. (p. 76-82)
  29. Three types of needed disclosure: the full disclosure of mechanism of therapy, a discretionary sharing of here and now feelings, and a cautionary and well-timed disclosure of personal life.
  30. Comfort your clients who feel all alone in their therapy, that they are the only one with such problems, by “welcoming them to the human race” – that we all have our closets full.  (p.97).
  31. Clients may resist you being human and resist your disclosure.  You may need to tell them you can’t help them if they continue to not see you as human and as omniscient. (p. 100)
  32. Avoid the “crooked cure” – a sudden radical improvement based upon magic – emanating from an illusory view of the power of a therapist.   Explain it was them, not the therapist, who is the magician, who had really helped themselves. (p. 103)
  33. Question whether we can take our clients farther than we have gone ourselves.  Nietzche expresses an opposing view: “Some cannot loosen their own chains, yet can nonetheless redeem their friends.” (p. 104)
  34. It is commonplace for therapists to be helped by their clients.  Jung said therapy worked best when the “patient brought the perfect salve for the therapist’s wound and that if the therapist doesn’t change, then the patient doesn’t, either” (p. 107).  Harry Stack Sullivan said if the therapist develops more anxiety than the client, the client becomes the therapist.
  35. Self-disclosure is an absolutely essential ingredient in psychotherapy – no client profits without revelation. (p. 109).  A disclosure has content and process.  Content is the stuff revealed and process is the disclosure act itself.  Vertical disclosure refers to in-depth disclosure about the content.  Horizontal disclosure is disclosure about the act of disclosure itself.  (p. 109-111)
  36. The Johari Window is a four quadrant window of self-knowledge. If the knowledge is known to our self and others, it is public. If it is known to our self and not others, it is secret. If it is not known to our self yet it is known to others, it is blind. If it is not known to self and also not to others, it is unconscious.  It is the blind self that therapists target, helping clients see themselves as others see them.  Especially useful in group therapy, using here and now experiences. (p. 112-114).
  37. Give feedback gently.  If we focus on our own feelings, we are less likely to evoke defensiveness – our own feelings cannot be challenged.  Introduce the idea that you wish to be closer to the client, to know them better, yet the behavior in question distances me and may distance others.
  38. Increase receptiveness to feedback by referring to “part” of a person.  “Part of you” wants to live.  “Part of you” disagrees.
  39. Strike when the iron is cold – give feedback to clients about a behavior when they are behaving differently. (p. 120).
  40. Confront the topic of death and our defenses based on denial of death – cope with the awareness of death – that learning to live well is to learn to die well.  The idea of death may save us – we reprioritize our values and trivialize the trivia.
  41. Heidegger spoke of two modes of existence – the everyday mode and the ontological mode.  The first we are consumed with material surroundings and are filled with wonderment with how things are in the world. The second we are focused on being per se, we are filled with wonderment that things are in the world. (p. 127)
  42. Talk about death directly and matter-of-factly.  When did you first become aware of death?  With whom did you discuss it?  How did adults respond to your questions?  What deaths have you experienced?  How have your attitudes changed about death?  Strong fantasies/dreams about death?  Some preoccupied with sex have been exposed to a great threat of death.
  43. One of our major tasks is to invent a meaning sturdy enough to support a life and to perform the tricky maneuver of denying our personal authorship of this meaning – that it was “out there” waiting for us.  One-third of Jung’s of clients came for therapy to find meaning.
  44. In finding meaning, may ask: What do you want on your tombstone epitaph?  Schopenhauer said that willing is never fulfilled – as soon as one wish is satisfied, another appears…every human life is tossed backward and forward between pain and boredom.  The Buddha taugh that the question of meaning in life is not edifying and one should immerse oneself into the river of life and let the question drift away.  (p.135-136)
  45. There are four ultimate concerns or facts of existence – death, isolation, meaninglessness and freedom – that when confronted evoke deep anxiety.  We are in the deepest sense, responsible for ourselves and as Sarte put it, we are the authors of ourselves.
  46. Help clients assume responsibility.  If they see their problems as outside of themselves, then we can commiserate, help them adapt or attain equanimity, or teach them to be more effective at altering their environment. If we hope for a therapeutic change, then we must encourage our clients to assume responsibility – that a client must see themselves as having a role in the sequence of events.  “We have to look at your role, even if it is minor, because that is where I can offer the most help”.  Take advantage of here and now data.
  47. Never or almost never make decisions for a client – we work with unreliable data, biased by the client.  Caveat – physical abuse situations – may need to discourage clients from returning to abusive settings.
  48. Making decisions for clients, especially ones they do not wish to do, is a good way to lose clients – they drop out of therapy.  Decisions are the “via regia” (royal road) into existential bedrock, the realm of freedom, responsibility, choice, regret, wishing and willing.  To settle for preemptive advice forgoes the opportunity for existential exploration.
  49. Decisions are expensive for they demand renunciation and cut us off from other possibilities.  We are required to reduce our limitations and relinquish our myth of personal specialness, unlimited potential, imperishability, and immunity to biological laws.
  50. We help clients by dealing with difficult decision dilemmas by helping them assume responsibility and exposing them to the resistance of choosing.  Sometimes, one can facilitate an awareness by giving advice by prescribing certain behaviors – not to take away a client’s choice, but to shake them up into becoming aware of a certain behavior pattern.  (150-154)
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Bipolar Disorder in Adolescence: Diagnosis and Modern Treatment

Bipolar Disorder in Adolescence: Diagnosis and Modern Treatment

Renee S. Baker, Feb 8, 2011

Introduction

In the fall of 2007, just a few years ago, Carmen Moreno and her colleagues made national and even international news when they released a report showing that bipolar disorder (BPD) diagnosis had increased by a factor of 40 over a previous ten year period.  They based their compelling results on youth doctor office visits and found that for every 100,000 youth, 25 had been diagnosed as BPD in 1994-1995 and then a decade later 1003 had been diagnosed BPD in 2002-2003.  In contrast, adult diagnoses only increased by a factor of 1.9 – from 905 to 1679 BPD diagnoses – over the same time period.  (2007, Moreno, Laje, Blanco, Jiang, Schmidt, Olfson).  The researchers suggest that either historically BPD was under diagnosed in children and adolescents and the problem has now been rectified, or BPD is over diagnosed in this age group today.  Without independent diagnostic assessments, they say no hypothesis can be selected.

Articles and entire journal issues have been dedicated to the study of bipolar disorder in children and adolescents (2009a, Post), and as such, Derryck Smith reports that there is no greater controversy in child and adolescent psychiatry than that related to the diagnosis, treatment and ever increasing prevalence of childhood-onset BPD (Smith, 2007).   He reminds the reader that classic BPD was described by Kraepelin over 50 years ago as discrete episodes of depression and mania – as reflected in the current DSM-IV-TR criteria.  However, he says, in 2001 the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) Roundtable agreed on creating two phenotypes for youth with BPD – one that is called “narrow” and aligns itself with DSM criteria and the other that is termed “broad” in which children may be considered BPD if they present with irritability, mood lability, temper tantrums, hyperactivity and poor concentration in non-episodic fashion.  He notes Gabrielle Carlson’s 2006 conference discussion that in the Sixties, the precursor to ADHD was called “hyperactive child syndrome” which included irritability, explosiveness and sleep problems.  She opined that over the last 30 to 40 years, the criteria for ADHD has been narrowing while the criteria for BPD has been broadening.  In other words, it may not be that there is an increase in the prevalence of BPD among youth, but just in the way we diagnose things.  Smith states we are likely to see a new set of criteria for BPD in children and adolescents in the upcoming DSM-V, expected out in 2013.  (Smith, 2007).

Others believe the widespread occurrence of BPD among youth is akin to a “storm”, so says Robert Post.  He believes that of the 1 million children now diagnosed in the U.S. with BPD, the reason for the increase is that people are now beginning to come around to the idea that moody children can actually suffer from a psychiatrically defined mood disorder – a real paradigm shift in thinking.  (2009b, Post).  He believes what the field of BPD needs now is not the discovery of new treatments which could take too many years to develop, but merely to determine how to deploy and sequence the ones that are already available (2009a, Post).

Parens and Johnston discuss the controversies in child/adolescent onset BPD as well and note that while there seems to be a disagreement about labels, there is agreement that these youth desperately need help (2010, Parens and Johnston).  They also note that the United States is also the only country in the world that has such high BPD rates (1000 per 100,000) with Brazil coming in second with no specific rates given.  The remainder of world countries are vastly similar to older U.S. rates.  England has 1.7 cases per 100,000 and Ireland has 2.2 cases per 100,000 every year.  But part of that is that the U.S. falls under the DSM-IV, they say, which has a broader net than the ICD-10 used in Europe.  (The ICD criteria requires two manic episodes compared to only one for the DSM – discussed more in the next section.)  (2010, Parens and Johnston).  All said, the World Health Organization, according to Carta and Angst, has listed BPD is one of the leading causes of disability throughout the world (2005).  Incidentally, also supportive of the newer prevalence rates for BPD youth is the fact that about 44% of Bipolar 1 (definition given later) Disorder children become youth adults with Bipolar 1 as well (2008, Primary Psychiatry).

The remainder of this paper is to review the diagnostics for BPD in adolescents as well as to review various treatment options, including pharmacotherapy and psychotherapy options, or the combination thereof.   The BPD field is vast and only a sampling is given, yet the field is small enough, especially for youth BPD, where one can easily see gaps in research yet needed.

Bipolar Disorder Diagnosis in Adolescence

In a recent practitioner review, Baroni of NIMH and colleagues present an assessment of BPD in children and adolescents.  Their primary goal was to use a large literature review in conjunction with their own research to provide guidance on how clinicians should assign the BPD diagnoses to children and adolescents.  They argue that at this time, the diagnosis of BPD should only given to youth that have a history of mania or hypomania meeting full DSM-IV-TR criteria (4 days for hypomania, 7 for full mania).  Their recommendation is consistent with guidelines from both the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and the British National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence.  (2009, Baroni, Lunsford, Luckenbaugh, Towbin and Leibenluft).  Further, they want to pass on another key message that youth with severe, non-episodic irritability have no optimum diagnosis, but current evidence suggests that it may be a variant of depression, and differs from youth with BPD.

BPD in the United States is currently diagnosed in both children, adolescents and adults according to the criteria specified in the DSM-IV-TR (APA, 2000).  A review of technical definitions for major depressive episode, manic episode, mixed episode and hypomania episode are given in the Appendix 1.

With these definitions, a quick review of BPD may be given – BPD is divided into Bipolar 1 and Bipolar 2 disorders.  Bipolar 1 also has several variants, making it a bit more complex, but necessary.  Each of these has various specifiers to further delineate the type of BPD, but that is beyond what is needed here.

  • Bipolar Disorder 1 – defined by the DSM as follows (partial definitions only)

o   BPD1 – Single Manic Episode (presence of only 1 manic episode and no past major depressive episodes)

o   BPD1 – Most Recent Episode Hypomanic (currenly or recently hypomanic and previously must have had manic or mixed episode)

o   BPD1 – Most Recent Episode Manic (currently or recently in a manic episode)

o   BPD1 – Most Recent Episode Mixed (currently or recently in a mixed episode and previously at least on major depressive episode, manic episode or mixed episode)

o   BPD1 – Most Recent Episode Depressed (currently or recently in a major depressive episode and there has previously been at least one manic episode or mixed episode)

o   BPD1 – Most Recent Episode Unspecified

  • Bipolar Disorder 2 – defined by the DSM as a presence or history of having one or more Major Depressive Episodes, with a presence or history of at least one hypomanic episode, and NEVER having had a manic or mixed episode.  There are several other criteria not given here.
  • Bipolar Not Otherwise Specified – This is often used for youth that have rapidly alternating manic and depressive symptoms where the minimum durations are too short to meet criteria for manic, hypomanic or major depressive episodes.  It can also be used for recurrent hypomanic episodes w/o depression.

BPD-1, BPD-2 and BPD-NOS can be diagnosed for children, adolescents and adults according to the above criteria (and details given in the DSM-IV-TR).  It is important to note that the Amcerican Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) recommends that caution be taken in making the diagnosis in children younger than six years of age (2010, Pfeifer).

Differential Diagnosis

The most common comorbid condition with BPD is ADHD. To make a distinction between ADHD and BPD, the presence of distinct episodes of mood (mania and depression) should be used (2009, McDougall).  ADHD is more constant and bipolar has cycles.  Additionally, preliminary research by Luckenbaugh and colleagues demonstrate that BPD children sleep less than their ADHD counterparts.

BPD should be distinguishable from schizophrenia for the same first reason as ADHD…schizophrenia has a gradual decline in functioning, where BPD is episodic in nature (McDougall).  Substance misuse can be misleading because of the manic symptoms that some drugs may have.  For such reasons, substance abuse or intoxication disorders in youth can be eliminated with the use of urine samples for drug usage.  (McDougall)

Pharmacotherapy Treatment Strategies

BPD in children and adolescents is often associated with difficulties in school (lower school performance), an increased risk of substance abuse and substance disorders, and suicide attempts and completions.  Hence, it is recommended that the goal of treatment for BPD is to achieve mood stabilization and to improve psychosocial and educational outcomes.  (Pfeifer).  Treatment plans for BPD typically involve a multidisciplinary approach targeting psychological, biological and social aspects of the disease (Pfeifer).  Pharmacological intervention remains the mainstay of treatment at the current moment (Pfeifer).  The decisions on what medications to use are based on patterns or history of episodes – mixed, manic and depressive.

The AACAP recommends that treatment begin with monotherapy and if a partial response is noted, the initial therapy can be augemented with another agent.  Currently, the AACAP recommends lithium, divalproex sodium (valproate semisodium) and the atypical antipsychotics as first-line agents for the treatment of youth – children as well as adolescents – with BPD (Pfeifer).  Note that almost all BPD medications have some type of adverse effects from nausea and rashes to weight gain and pregnancy complications.

The medications available for children and adolescents are generally available on a limited basis and there are less choices available than with adult patients with BPD.  Commonly used medications with children and adolescents that have BPD are given in Appendix 2 with brief commentary.

An example treatment algorithm for pediatric bipolar disorder was given by Brown University (2005) for Bipolar 1 with no psychosis.  The first stage of the algorithm begins with monotherapy using a mood stabilizer or atypical antipsychotic medication.  If there is partial improvement, then one can augment with another first line recommendation.  The second stage is monotherapy with an alternative drug, and then augmentation.  The third stage is a possible medication combination such as lithium plus an atypical.  The fourth stage is a combination of 2-3 mood stabilizers.  The fifth stage is alternate monotherapy with oxcarbazepine, ziprasidone, or aripiprazole.  And the sixth and final stage is for nonresponse cases or intolerable side effect cases.  In this stage, clozapine for children or adolescents, or electroconvulsive therapy for adolescents only.

Psychotherapeutic Treatment Strategies

Although it is generally recognized that pharmacotherapy treatment is the first line of treatment in BPD, evidence is further accumulating that pscychotherapeutic interventions are important in treating and coping with BPD (Hatchett, 2009).  Inder and colleagues take a developmental perspective when working with BPD clients (Inder, Crowe, Moor, Luty, Carter, and Joyce, 2008).  They see identity as a framework from which individuals interact with the world and have studied how BPD impacts that development.  In particular BPD clients developed varying senses of self based upon their varying mood states – hence often developing different and contradictory selves resulting in confusion in who their “real self” was.  They henceforth lacked an internalized sense of sameness, lacked a coherent self-evaluation and varying negative self perceptions.  By focusing therapy on integration and understanding BPD effects on self, they could build a life trajectory that was more solid and stable. (Crowe, Inder, Joyce, Moor, Carter and Luty, 2008).

David Miklowitz found that episodes of BPD were strongly associated with family discord, criticism and conflict (2007).  Hence, he says, there is increasing evidence that family psychoeducational treatments are effective in relapse prevention and symptom control when combined with standard pharmacotherapy.  Family-focused therapy (FFT) involves the client and one or more of their relatives for a 9 month program (21 sessions) that begins immediately after an acute episode of mania, depression or mixed disorder.  The FFT program consists of three modules including psychoeducation (educating the client about BPD, warning signs, relapse prevention and so on), communication enhancement training (effective speaking, listening and negotiating skills, with homework practice) and problem solving skills training (identifying specific family problems, brainstorming solutions, evaluating solutions, and so on).  Miklowitz found in two trials that school age children with BPD were much stabilized with FFT or with FFT and cognitive behavioral therapy.

Goldstein, Miklowitz and Mullen (2006) found that there was no significant difference in social skills knowledge between adolescents with BPD and those without BPD.  But, they found that the BPD youth had a harder time with the performance of those social skills, particularly in times of stressful situations.  They suggest that youth  are able to manage those situations with dialectical behavior therapy in order to regulate emotion (learning mindfulness of emotions, reducing emotional reactivity, and increasing positive emotional events) and reduce distress.

One final approach by Lewis Mehl-Madrona (2010) employs the power of story to heal the individual with BPD.  He says while the biomedical paradigm diagnoses BPD through applying a set of criteria in cookbook fashion, it also generates a set of medications to be applied in cookbook fashion.  Narrative psychiatry approaches, he says, on the other hand, generate action plans that are unique to the people that are creating them. While he does not avoid using the DSM as it is a way to communicate and categorize, he prefers to use SPECT (single photon emissions computed tomography) scans, which demonstrate blood flow through various regions of the brain, because they generate a more reliable story about what is happening in a person’s brain.  He says that our (social) relationships with clients can change dendritic connections in the brain, in the nervous system, and can change regional blood flow and metabolism, and can transform the story we tell about who we think we are.  In other words, by sharing and changing story, we change the brain and find healing in the process.  Mehl-Madrona says that community is ultimately essential to the healing process.

References

American Psychiatric Association. (2000). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (4th ed., text rev.). Washington, DC: Author.

Baroni, A., Lunsford, J. R., Luckenbaugh, D. A., Towbin, K. E., & Leibenluft, E. (2009). Practitioner review: The assessment of bipolar disorder in children and adolescents. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 50(3), 203-215.

Bipolar disorder in children and adolescents: treatment and diagnosis. (2005). Brown University Psychopharmacology Update, 16(4), 1-7.

Carta, M., & Angst, J. (2005). Epidemiological and clinical aspects of bipolar disorders: controversies or a common need to redefine the aims and methodological aspects of surveys. Clinical Practice & Epidemiology in Mental Health, 14. doi:10.1186/1745-0179-1-4

Crowe, M., Inder, M., Joyce, P., Moor, S., Carter, J., & Luty, S. (2009). A developmental approach to the treatment of bipolar disorder: IPSRT with an adolescent. Journal of Clinical Nursing, 18(1), 141-149.   Retrieved Feb. 5, 2011 from the EBSCO database.

Goldstein, T. R., Birmaher, B., Axelson, D., Goldstein, B. I., Gill, M., Esposito-Smythers, C., & Keller, M. (2009). Family environment and suicidal ideation among bipolar youth. Archives of Suicide Research, 13(4), 378-388.  Retrieved Feb. 6, 2011 from the EBSCO database.

Goldstein, T. R., Miklowitz, D. J., & Mullen, K. L. (2006). Social skills knowledge and performance among adolescents with bipolar disorder. Bipolar Disorders, 8(4), 350-361.

Hatchett, G. T. (2009). The Enigma of Bipolar Disorder in Children and Adolescents. Journal of School Counseling, 7(29.  Retrieved Feb. 2, 2011 from the EBSCO database.

Inder, M. L., Crowe, M. T., Moor, S., Luty, S. E., Carter, J. D., & Joyce, P. R. (2008). ‘I actually don’t know who I am’: The impact of bipolar disorder on the development of self. Psychiatry: Interpersonal and Biological Processes, 71(2), 123-133.  Retrieved Feb. 5, 2011 from the EBSCO database.

Mansell, W., Powell, S., Pedley, R., Thomas, N., & Jones, S. (2010). The process of recovery from bipolar I disorder: A qualitative analysis of personal accounts in relation to an integrative cognitive model. British Journal of Clinical Psychology, 49(2), 193-215. Retrieved Feb. 5, 2011 from EBSCO database.

McDougall, T. (2009). Nursing children and adolescents with bipolar disorder: assessment, diagnosis, treatment, and management. Journal Of Child And Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing: Official Publication Of The Association Of Child And Adolescent Psychiatric Nurses, Inc, 22(1), 33-39.

Mehl-Madrona, L. (2010). Healing the Mind Through the Power of Story: The Promise of Narrative Psychiatry, Rochester, VT : Bear & Company.

Moreno C, Laje G, Blanco C, Jiang H, Schmidt AB, Olfson M. (2007).  National trends in the outpatient diagnosis and treatment of bipolar disorder in youth.  Arch Gen Psychiatry, 64(9):1032-9.  Retrieved Feb 6, 2011 from PubMed database.

Parens, E., & Johnston, J. (2010). Controversies concerning the diagnosis and treatment of bipolar disorder in children. Child & Adolescent Psychiatry & Mental Health, 4:9, 1-14. Retrieved Feb. 6, 2011 from EBSCO database.

Pfeifer, J., Kowatch, R., & DelBello, M. (2010). Pharmacotherapy of bipolar disorder in children and adolescents: recent progress. CNS Drugs, 24(7), 575-593.

Post, R. M. (2009a). Bipolar disorder, with a focus on childhood-onset bipolar disorder. Psychiatric Annals, 39(10), 874-877.  Retrieved Feb. 6, 2011 from EBSCO database.

Post, R. M. (2009b). Childhood-onset bipolar disorder: The perfect storm. Psychiatric Annals, 39(10), 879-886.

RESEARCHERS DETERMINE RATES OF CHILD AND ADOLESCENT BIPOLAR I DISORDER BECOMING ADULT BIPOLAR I DISORDER. (2008). Primary Psychiatry, 15(12), 24-25.

Smith, D. H. (2007). Controversies in childhood bipolar disorders. The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry / La Revue canadienne de psychiatrie, 52(7), 407-408.  Retrieved Feb. 6, 2011 from EBSCO database.

Appendix 1 – Mood Episodes

 

To gain a deeper understanding of BPD diagnosis, an understanding of depression and mania episode criteria must be obtained.  Briefly, these mood disorder type episodes are delineated at follows:

  • Major Depressive Episode – defined by the DSM as a period of at least 2 weeks during which there is either a depressed mood and/or a loss of pleasure in nearly all of one’s activities.  Children and adolescents can be irritable instead of depressed.  There are nine symptoms of which five must be present (depressed, no pleasure realized, weight loss or failure to gain weight in youth, insomnia or hypersomnia, psychomotor agitation or retardation, fatigue, feelings of guilt or worthlessness, lack of focus, and suicidal ideation/ thoughts of death).  Several other criteria such as impairment in social functioning must also be met.
  • Manic Episode – defined by the DSM by a distinct period during which there is abnormally and persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood, lasting at least one week, unless hospitalization is required.  There must be at least three of these symptoms: inflated self-esteem/grandiosity, decreased need for sleep, more talkative, flight of ideas, distractibility, increase in goal directed activity or excessive involvement.  Several other criteria such as impairment in social functioning must also be met.
  • Mixed Episode – defined by the DSM as a period of time lasting at least 1 week in which criteria are met for both Manic Episode and Major Depressive Episode nearly every day. Several other criteria such as impairment in social functioning must also be met.
  • Hypomanic Episode – defined by the DSM as a distinct period during which there is an abnormally and persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood that lasts at least 4 days.  There must be at least three of these symptoms (same list as for manic): inflated self-esteem/grandiosity, decreased need for sleep, more talkative, flight of ideas, distractibility, increase in goal directed activity or excessive involvement.  Several other criteria EXCEPT impairment in social functioning, etc., must also be met.  However, the change during this time must be noticeable by others.

Appendix 2 – Pharmaceuticals to Treat BPD

 

The following is a list of medications that are available or potentially available to treat child and adolescent BPD.  A brief comment of each is included regarding usage and adverse effects.  Details are left to the reader (2010, Pfeifer).

  • Lithium Salts – considered the gold standard for BPD treatment – has serious side effects such as pregnancy complications, diabetes and thyroid malfunction
  • Anti-epileptics – effective in treating manic symptomatology

o   Divalproex Sodium (Valproate Semisodium) – questionable effectiveness, may have serious side effects such as pancreatitis and polycystic ovary syndrome

o   Lamotrigine – preliminarily effective for depression, but may cause Stevens-Johnson syndrome – a horrible life threatening skin condition

o   Carbamazepine – results appear to indicate effective for mood stabilization with adverse effects from the simple rash, sedation, nausea to life threatening aplastic-anemia and Stevens Johnson syndrome

o   Oxcarbazepine – No significant difference to placebo – adverse effects may include drowsiness, double vision and fatigue

o   Topiramate –not effective for acute mixed or manic states and not better than placebo – adverse effects include decreased appetite, cognitive impairment, kidney stones and peripheral nerve issues.

  • Atypical Antipsychotics – second generation antipsychotics (SGAs)

o   Clozapine – may be effective in reducing mania in youth – serious adverse effects including loss of white blood cell count – agranulocytosis

o   Risperidone –effective for treating child and adolescent mania – may cause restless leg syndrome, diarrhea, Parkinson’s symptoms, and diabetes

o   Olanzapine – appears to be efective for treating mania, but has adverse effects such as metabolic changes, weight gain, and lactation regulation issues

o   Quetiapine – shows to be effective for acute mania and potentially depression – adverse effects can be increased risk of suicidal thinking

o   Ziprasidone –shows to be effective for manic symptoms and has lower risk for metabolic issues than other atypical antipsychotics

o   Aripiprazole – showing effective for manic and mixed episodes but has risk of EPS side effects

o   Paliperidone – similar to risperidone, new on the market and no data yet

  • Other Treatments

o   Omega-3 Fatty Acids – An alternative medication effective for treating depression.  Sources of Omega-3 include wild salmon.

o   Pharmacogenetics

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Coming Out of the Darkness

A SAFE PLACE AT LAST | Alex Fitzgerald says school officials in Lewisville and Flower Mound did nothing to protect him from bullies. Now he attends iSchool in Lewisville, a private school where faculty and staff mean it when they say there is zero tolerance for bullying. (Renee Baker/Dallas Voice)

Gay teen Alex ‘Fitzy’ Fitzgerald talks about how bullies targeted him at an early age and how, despite bouts of cutting, drinking and drug use, he survived to find his place in the world

RENEE BAKER  |  Contributing Writer
renee@renee-baker.com

Jan 20, 2011

This is a story about a young man named “Fitzy” who was bullied at school for being unabashedly gay.

It is a story to remind us that while anti-gay bullying is not the only kind of bullying, and it is all wrong, anti-gay bullying can be worst kind because so often, LGBT teens have nowhere to turn for support, since even the people who are supposed to protect them — parents, teachers — can be as anti-gay as the bullies who torment them.

These are the type of stories that schoolteachers and administrators ought to listen to carefully and with an empathetic ear, acknowledging the physical and emotional abuse happening to the three out of four LGBT teens that skip school for safety.

They ought to acknowledge the right of LGBT teens to form gay-straight alliance support groups so gay youth are not dehumanized into a “they have it coming” category. And if they won’t do it because it is the right thing to do, then they ought to do it to avoid lawsuits that can be filed against them for not providing safety for their entire student body.

Fitzy

Alex “Fitzy” Fitzgerald is a 16-year-old sophomore who suffered through elementary school in the Flower Mound and Lewisville school systems.

He said in neither school district did he feel safe, nor did his teachers or administrators get involved enough to protect him. And he feared for his life to the point of “checking out” because of it.

Fitzgerald is one of about two million U.S. school-aged youth the Human Rights Watch has estimated to be LGBTQ identified — with academic research solidly confirming 5 to 6 percent of youth are LGBTQ. Fitzgerald found himself struggling with both his gender and sexuality, and more so, severely struggling with those that said he got what he deserved when the bullies attacked him.

YOU GOTTA HAVE FRIENDS | Alex Fitzgerald, center, relies on friends like his boyfriend Eli Appling, right, and Joey Pint. (Tammye Nash/Dallas Voice)

Fitzgerald is, unfortunately, not alone. A 2008 study released by Dr. Susan Swearer and her colleagues from University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Harvard Medical School found that adolescent boys bullied for being gay — or perceived as gay — were in a much different class of bullying than non-gay youth. In fact, they found that bullied gay youth experienced much greater psychological distress, greater verbal and physical bullying and more negative perceptions of their school experiences than boys.

Fitzgerald agrees. He said his path down “You’re So Gay” Lane began when he was only nine years old and wore a pink shirt to school.

“I didn’t know anything about being gay or straight then,” Fitzgerald said. “But my mom and sister encouraged me to wear what I wanted.”

Fitzgerald said he was too young to understand why the other kids thought he was so weird or why they called him “gay wad.” But when the fighting and bullying escalated to the point that his mom was regularly picking him up from school crying, he begged her not to send him back.

“The Lewisville fourth grade teachers could not have cared less for me,” Fitzgerald said.

Hoping for more support from school staff, his mother moved him to the Flower Mound school system in fifth grade.

Fitzgerald said things “started out okay” at Flower Mound, but kids in a clique soon began to pick up on his feminine, sensitive side, and the teasing and name-calling started again.

Instead of conforming, Fitzgerald began to stand up for himself, declaring his identity through a variety of clothing, from his “pink emo” girly phase towards a “darker and darker goth” style.

It took him awhile to try on a number of hats until one felt right, given what the environment would support.

Symptoms of being a target

Though he didn’t realize it, Fitzgerald said the bullying was really getting to him. He began seeing a psychiatrist to treat his depression, and by seventh grade, he had started “cutting” — three shallow cuts the first time, followed by cuts that went gradually deeper, the physical pain meant to mask the emotional.

“A girlfriend gave me my first razor blade,” Fitzgerald said, “and I cut regularly until the end of eighth grade.”

Fitzgerald said he cut nearly a hundred times out of sadness and anger. He said the pain inside would get so bad that he would just “go at it,” slicing up his arms, his ankles and his right thigh. He said he had “angry thoughts that couldn’t be expressed.”

His dad didn’t understand him, he said, and although his mom tried, she couldn’t either. Then that anger turned inward, and in a state of confusion, he hurt himself to cope.

What made it harder, Fitzgerald said, was the need to “cover up” his addiction to cutting by wearing sweat jackets whenever he left his bedroom, even in the hot summer.  It made him stand out as “the one who wore hoodies.”

Fitzgerald said he proudly stood out in other ways, too, by dressing flamboyantly like RuPaul and Jeffree Star, but it painted a target on his back for bullies who wanted to “teach him a lesson.”

Experts say that flamboyant cross-gender dressing and gender nonconformity is, to a large extent, a focus of much anti-gay bullying. Swearer and colleagues say a possible explanation for the bullying of gender nonconforming individuals can be derived from a theory of moral disengagement, in which the bully dehumanizes and blames the victim for the bullying.

Anyone labeled “gay” then is “deserving” of what they get. They deem it to be justice.

Gender expert Michael Kimmel of State University of New York at Stony Brook said such schoolyard bullies are often the most insecure about their own masculinity and have to prove it by bullying someone who is no real match. But because it proves nothing to pick on someone not your own size, they have to do it over and over again.
Fitzgerald falls in the category of “someone not your own size.”

By the end of junior high school, Fitzgerald was openly dating both boys and girls and hanging out at the Grapevine Mills Mall with a group of friends that got high together. Though Fitzgerald dabbled with a litany of drugs, he said his “main focus” was amphetamines — speed and ecstasy.

It landed him in the Lewisville emergency room and under heavy watch for drug use. But that wasn’t enough for the young man to hit rock bottom; that came later when heroine put him into detox and recovery for two months.

“I told my mom I sincerely need help,” he said, “and I started getting on the right track.”

It was a cry for help and Fitzgerald got it, back in Lewisville. He wanted acceptance from his dad, too, who thought his son was “selfish for wearing makeup.”

Fitzgerald, whose parents are divorced, said he is getting along greatly now with his father, who regularly tells him: “You are who you are.”

Fitzgerald said eventually he was able to wear makeup, be androgynous or wear pink blush and paint his brows and his father finally got used to it. With the help of a good therapist, he said, the family finally was able to pull together, including Fitzgerald’s stepfather.

Fitzgerald also credits his recovery to going to Youth First Texas when he was 14. He said that Bob Miskinis, the former program director, would stay on the phone with him for hours and help him work through the issues that were haunting him.

YFT was the “height of my happiness and has been nothing but a blessing,” Fitzgerald said.

But it didn’t last. The bullying he was then enduring was miniscule compared to what would come at Flower Mound High School.

New school, same old problems

Before his first day at Flower Mound, Fitzgerald said he was cyber-bullied on Facebook with taunts like “Get ready for hell,” and “Can’t wait to meet you faggot.” Fitzgerald said he was cross-dressing then, and the fact he was gay “got to them [the bullies].”

When he started school at Flower Mound, Fitzgerald said, he was shoved into walls, kicked and punched.

“Every time I walked down the hallways, I had to worry about what somebody may say or do to me,” he said. “And I started to get anonymous death threats.” Echoes of the hatred would go through his mind repeatedly:  “I want to kill you faggot. I will throw you in a tree and cut you in half with a chain saw.”

Fitzgerald couldn’t make it alone in school. He had friends to support him, to walk him through the hallways, to keep an eye out for him, and to let him know what was “going down.” He carried a hidden can of mace for his protection, something that was against school policy, but he risked it because he was afraid for his life.

No one helped, he said, adding he was treated like a disposable troublemaker. His guidance counselor was his best help, but was only able to recommend summer school so Fitzgerald could get done with school sooner.

His coach warned the bully to stay away. The bullying was still brushed off as not serious and verbally abusive comments were dismissed, Fitzgerald said.

No one recognized the crisis situation Fitzgerald was living in. And a year after overdosing on heroine, plagued by worries that he would be killed with a chain saw, Fitzgerald fell off the wagon and found himself an inpatient in a

Lewisville hospital again,  this time with a blood alcohol level of 0.23.

“In a sense, my school approved of the bullying by being silent,” Fitzgerald said, adding that there was no support to right the balance of power among peers.

For example, Fitzgerald said, six times officials at the high school denied requests for the formation of a gay-straight alliance. It was a message that told gay youth they didn’t matter,” he said.

And on the National Day of Silence, Fitzgerald said, students were denied permission to wear gray tape over their mouths to bring visibility to their plight.

New school, new hope

The good news for Fitzgerald is that he has found peace at iSchool High in Lewisville, a private school with about 250 students.

He said he loves the teachers, who are very structured and have zero tolerance for lack of mutual respect. Fitzgerald said the reaction to bulling at iSchool goes beyond just policy; school officials actually stand by their words.

Fitzgerald, now 16 and a sophomore, is on “the right track,” he said. He said has two goals in life: to be a cosmetologist and to pursue his music writing. Of course, he also wants to have “a lot of money and a hot husband.”

Fitzgerald said he is becoming more active about LGBT equality and overcoming bullying in schools. He has been on the radio, participated in the Bully Suicide Project and, also, the It Gets Better Project.

It’s something he is dead serious about: “Some of us are treated as second-class citizens, and I’ll stop at nothing, even take a bullet if I have to, for the sake of LGBT equality.”

Renee Baker is a Case Manager at North Texas Youth Connection and serves on the Advisory Board at Youth First Texas.  She may be found online at Renee-Baker.com.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition Jan. 21, 2011.

For the original posting, see here.

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An Ode to Reece Manley (1/14/69 – 2/3/11)

I wrote this for my Professional Counseling Class in May of 2010.  He shared many intimate details of his life with me.  He passed away this month from the many complications he faced.  He was often in great pain, so in a sense, I am relieved he doesn’t have to deal with that anymore.  I feel like he is still smiling with us, thinking about what to do in the next lifetime, to inspire us.  Whatever it is, it will be an act of love.

Dr. Reece Wyman Manley

Dr. Reece Manley

1/14/69-2/3/11

Reece Manley’s childhood was not one many of us would envy, being one of incest survival, beatings and repeated rape.  It led him on path to being grossly obese weighing in at over 400 pounds, to needing bariatric weight loss surgery which failed, to resultant painful neuropathy, to drug addiction in trying to overcome the pain, to having a near death experience and placed in a psychiatric center.  But Manley’s life has proven to be an amazing walk – one of inspiration, one of great meaning and one of deep compassion.

Manley was raised in Anton, Texas, not far from the City of Lubbock.  His parents divorced when he was young and were unable to raise him, so he was raised by his maternal grandparents.  It was his Uncle Tom that stole his innocence.  His mother’s brother had cystic fibrosis and used his disability as an excuse to call Manley to his aid.  For five long years though, while Manley was aged seven to twelve, his uncle raped him repeatedly in his trailer and in the family barn.  When Manley’s uncle succumbed to his disease, Manley said he was glad to see his uncle die – it meant that no more would he be raped and scared into silence.

Manley said he couldn’t tell anyone about the abuse, at least not until he was 22 years old when he went to get help from a counselor.  Manley’s uncle told him that if he told anyone, he would go to hell and be thrown away by his family.

“He was supposed to love me,” Manley said, “but he raped me repeatedly.”

As his high school years progressed, Manley recognized that he was different than all the other boys in his school.  Visits to the locker room confirmed that he was gay.  He doesn’t believe though that the incest was the source of his sexual desires, but that they did play a part in his overall sexual development.  Certainly, he says, the incest put him on the defensive and he grew to 420 pounds to keep people at a safe distance.

After he graduated from high school and found himself wanting to learn more as to what makes people tick, Manley went on to study psychology at Texas Tech University.  He went to see a counselor himself and began his healing at age 22, but the journey to self has not been an easy one, or a short one – he has had to deal with a variety of intimacy issues such as the exchange of human touch.   He continued his studies at Texas State University in San Marcos and received an M.Ed. in Professional Counseling in 1996.  In both his degrees, he graduated top of his class, Summa Cum Laude.  Manley gained employment at the Texas Youth Commission and worked with juvenile sex offenders, of which all, he said, were sexually abused themselves.  He chose his profession as a desire to help others and an enduring interest in working with people, especially because he was different and not always accepted as a gay man.

Prior to working for the Texas Youth Commission, Manley was a youth minister for three different churches including the United Methodist Church.  When he came out as a gay man, he was asked to leave the church and was no longer allowed to work with youth.  He said he was also accused of being a pedophile by his pastor, which is not an uncommon slur against many gay men that work with youth, a residual carry-over from the Seventies when Anita Bryant spoke out harshly against the gay community.

Manley always felt pulled towards working with the spiritual side of healing and continued his studies and received a Doctorate of Divinity from the American Institute of Holistic Theology in 2001.  He resigned his LPC license and began counseling clients from a more spiritual perspective.  He felt that it was important to speak about spiritual matters with people and with the LPC he was too limited in what he could do.  For example, he says, he finds it important to help clients understand that there is no separation from our Creator or Source and that is an important truth to understand if clients are to heal.

Moving towards pastoral counseling hasn’t changed Manley’s clientele.  He says his clients are as diverse now as they were when he was an LPC and he has clients that range from those with schizophrenia (which he usually refers out) to just somebody that needs a good listener.

Manley’s life though took a much different turn that same year when he decided to tackle his obesity.  He had grown to 420 pounds and decided that weight loss surgery was right for him.  But the bariatric surgery had a one glitch – a nerve was damaged.  The bariatric wand used in the procedure was misdirected and it changed the course of his life.  Neuropathy was the result and he is in constant pain – a feeling he describes as having his feet in a meat grinder.  He dreams of blackbirds eating away at his feet during the night.   The doctors attempted four pain management implants – all failed.  Manley has had to manage the pain on his own, and he said it led him to try a variety of drugs, including cocaine.  He became an addict.

Just three years ago, in 2007, Manley was ready to end his life.  He no longer wanted to live with the constant pain.  He drove to San Marcos and said his last goodbyes to family members, had a few drinks and drove over an embankment.  The doctors said he should have died, but Manley believes the “grace of an angel” intervened and saved him.

Six months later, he almost died again – this time from pneumonia.  The physical abuse his body had been through with the cocaine addiction ran him down.  He developed a staph infection that spread throughout his organs – lungs, intestines and liver.  His body shut down.  In the hospital on an ventilator, according to Manley, “he crossed over.”

Manley said he had a near death experience – he describes the crossing as an intensity of life, a place of great peace and acceptance and being home.  Most of all, he had no pain there.  His grandmother came to see him and told him it was not his time yet, and so he came back, though with great reluctance.  He has published a book called Crossing Twice and has now sold 2000 copies.  He said he received 200 thank you notes from his readers.

Manley is now disabled and just returning to practice feeling emotionally healed and finally getting it.  He is very frank about his less than stellar past.  His pain is still here, it shows on his face, and in his tears when he speaks of how hard it is, but he feels his life has great purpose.  He gets up daily at 3:00 a.m. and writes for three hours.  He has just finished writing his third book and has a publishing agent.

Today, with the help of his mother, he is able to function as a pastoral counselor using online tools, but no longer is able to work from an office.  He is very excited about the online video conferencing tool Skype which has been a savior for him. It gives him the ability to make voice and video calls with the computer, make video conference calls with three or more people, and to share files and screen captures.  (See the Skype Web site for details.)

Manley is a member of the American Professional Pastoral Counseling Association and considers himself to be a progressive Christian counselor combining spirituality and cognitive methods to serve clients.  Albert Ellis is one of his role models.  His Web site lists the following life matters that he works with clients on:

  • Depression, anxiety and addiction issues.
  • Career coaching.
  • Life coaching.
  • Anger Management Training
  • Marriage Counseling
  • Family Life Therapy
  • GLBT Issues and Integration Counseling
  • Death, dying and grief.
  • Overcoming Fears
  • Sexuality Issues
  • Spirituality and Spiritual Recovery
  • Prayer Work and Holy Spirit Insights

More information on the services he offers can be found on his Web site.  Manley finds life a blessing and he is thankful he is able to really help people now, even though it has taken a near death crossing to bring him to a point where he says he finally “gets it.”

+

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Cutting Away at Emotional Pain Handout (Nuestras Voces Conference 2010)

This is the handout I am providing for the November 2, 2010 Arte Sana Nuestras Voces / Our Voices National Conference on self-injury.  If you need a MS Word copy, let me know.

Cutting Away at Emotional Pain Handout

History

  • 1938Karl Menninger wrote Man Against Himself delineating self-injury separate from suicidal behavior
  • 1996-Princess Diana volunteered that she was a cutter

Self-mutilation

  • A self-injurious behavior with no intention of suicide and is distinct from sanctioned piercings, etc.

DSM-V

  • Non-Suicidal Self-Injury is proposed as a new entry in the upcoming DSM.

Three categories

  • Superficial (considered today and below)

o   Common form seen in adolescents and includes cutting (most common), skin pricking, severe nail biting, stabbing, scratching, burning or scalding, hair pulling, chafing and interfering w/ wound healing.

o   Common items used include pencil tips, paper clips, pins, glass, razors, box cutters, scissors and drink can tabs.

o   Areas commonly cut are wrists, arms, ankles, calves, inner thighs, belly, brassier line, armpits and feet.

  • Stereotypic

o   Generally seen in autistics, individuals with intellectual disability or Tourette’s syndrome

o   Common behaviors are rhythmic hitting oneself, head banging, orifice digging, throat and eye gouging, self-biting and joint dislocation

  • Major

o   Commonly seen in those that are psychotic or intoxicated

o   Extreme nature resulting in significant tissue damage

o   Self-destruction includes such things as eye enucleation, genital mutilation or castration, limb amputations and bone breaking

Etiology (superficial)

  • Much research is yet to be done to understand this complex issue
  • Best predictors of self injuring

o   Childhood sexual abuse

o   Family violence

o   Loss of a parent or guardian

o   Childhood illness

o   History of substance abuse

o   Another family member self-injures

o   Poor mood regulation

o   Eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia

o   Trauma as a child – trauma severity is associated with injury severity

o   Previously stayed on the street

  • Motivations

o   Still not understood, but not masochistic (pleasure of pain is not sought)

o   Reduced coping skills to manage the situation or perceived stressors

o   Intolerable & intense levels of anxiety and tension or depression or loneliness

o   To feel pain on the outside, not the inside (physical / emotional tradeoff)

o   To overcome numbness, to feel something, to cut matter so they “matter” – I’m real

o   Way to gain control over urges for sex or death

o   Aggression turned inward (body not perceived as self, but as an object)

o   Self-punishment or an act of religious atonement

o   To simulate feelings of past physical or sexual abuse, to unconsciously reconnect to the abuser

o   A cry for help in a nonverbal way – confronting an injustice – an un-redressed grievance

o   Way to self-medicate – pain leads to endorphins being released

  • The Two Root Characteristics of all Self-Mutilators

o   1) A feeling of mental disintegration where one has an inability to think

o   2 ) A feeling of rage that can’t be expressed, or even consciously perceived, towards a powerful figure or figures in their life, commonly a parent – one is afraid to argue or articulate – no outlet – fear of punishment or disapproval (Levenkron)

o   Physical pain or sight of one’s own blood is a way to drown out one of these two feelings

Parental Factors

  • Parent could be fragile and child is afraid to harm their parent by expressing anger
  • Parent could be neglectful or abusive or controlling or incestuous
  • Parent could have a financial stress, alcohol issues, emotional distress, marital distress, death
  • Not about blame, everyone is doing the best they can

Prevalence

  • Adult population prevalence is 4%, clinical adult population up to 21%
  • Adolescent population prevalence is anywhere from 14 to 39%, clinical adolescent is 40-61%
  • College student prevalence is 32%
  • Levenkron estimates 1 in 50 adolescents
  • LGBT youth at Youth First Texas rates were 36%
  • Among homeless youth, 69% self injure

Premeditative or compulsive

  • 19% think about it days or hours ahead of time
  • 27% thought of it 6 minutes or up to an hour ahead of time
  • 55% thought of it less than five minutes before the action
  • Levenkron ultimately considers it to be compulsive from a trancelike state

Sex, Class, Rural

  • Three large studies show no sex association though Levenkron says mostly females cut
  • No class associations
  • No rural/urban associations

Counselor

  • Must be exceedingly empathetic and not punitive or repulsed
  • Need to take “boy scout/girl scout” stance and see past the frightening self-infliction
  • Often requires intervention, referrals to physician, monitoring of wounds
  • Must become desensitized and sit with the client in their pain/rage/despair, get close to it
  • Must be informed so as to inform the client with straight facts
  • Need to understand the client’s pain, listen to their story and value them, give them voice
  • Break identification with being a cutter toward being someone who once cut – illness is not identity
  • Basic task: form a relationship based on trust that encourages dependency and healthy attachment
  • Timberlawn in Dallas has a treatment center for cutting
  • There may be hereditary factors or predispositions, but they are not a “sentence”

Reference:

  • Cutting: Understanding and Overcoming Self-Mutilation, Steven Levenkron
  • For this handout, literature review and Dallas Voice article that led to this panel

o  (See Renee-Baker / Self-Injury Topics)

Acknowledgment:

  • I would like to thank Melina Castillo of ARTE SANA for suggesting the idea for this panel!
Posted in Self-Injury | Comments Off on Cutting Away at Emotional Pain Handout (Nuestras Voces Conference 2010)

Maybe I Just Will

When I was studying to be an electrical engineer, our academic requirements laid out a path for us to take of study outside of core engineering.  They wanted us to have breadth as individuals, not just core depth.  But how many times did I hear, “Why do we have to study this stuff, it doesn’t apply to engineering!”

Today, there are an amazing number of disciplines to study and you can major in hundreds of subjects.  People say, “I am a cellular biologist” and “I am a peace mediator” and the list is endless.  As such, we define much of who we are by our career titles.

When we are forced to “go outside our area”, we often resist.  “I can’t do that, I’m an engineer,” says one student.

If we go back in history, we had less identification to subjects because there simply were not as many.  And top scholars were more apt to span many disciplines simply in the pursuit of knowledge and growth.   They didn’t limit themselves by identifying to a single discipline because they didn’t have to.

Scholars Back in the Day!

The point is this, that by identification, all identification, if we hold ourselves to strongly to it, we reduce ourselves to something less than we are.  If we say, “I’m an engineer” and refuse to learn outside of our area or “self”, then we miss the richness of what the world has to offer.  We put a limit on ourselves.

In doing so, we force ourselves to be off balance as human beings.  If we want to truly develop ourselves as fully dimensioned, we have to move past the “I can’t” and open doorways to new subjects or new activities.  Perhaps we have given up on “math” by saying “I’m not a math person” or decided that “quantum physics” is “beyond me”. Maybe we gave up on spiritual matters because “I’m a scientist.”

Development means we accept where we are at and make a change in a positive direction and one that gives us balance.  We do something to enhance ourselves, whether it is on an intellectual, physical, spiritual or emotional plane.

If we remember that what we resist is often what we need most, then we will know which plane of existence to explore next.  We will break through the strict identity issues that say “I’m not a walker” and into “Maybe I just will start walking.”

I decided to study massage therapy because the physical plane has always been my point of resistance and I knew I had to face my pain and heal (I had to work through scoliosis and rotator cuff injuries).  It meant having to give up other avenues of development which my ego did not want to let go of, but it was needed for my growth.

So, I want to encourage you to give yourself permission to explore…embrace your childlike curiosity…expend some energy…and enjoy the development of your self.  There is no need to limit your self.  Try something new and outrageous and live a little!

Can I hear you say, “Maybe I just will!”

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Stillness Newsletter Archive

I have written a number of newsletters over the 2008-2009 time period to capture a few thoughts I have had here and there regarding stillness.  Stillness is one of the most beautiful words to me.  It says everything about what we need in out lives amidst a world full of stress and difficulty.  When we are not at peace, stillness sounds lovely to our ears.  So, here is the archive in Adobe pdf format. These I wrote for my massage clients at the time, but are for all.

When the pond is still, we can clearly see ourselves.

2008

2009

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Thixotropic Man – Or, Our Ground Substance Hero? Say what?

Look, up in the sky, no I mean laying there firmly in bed, it’s Thixotropic Man.  Can we help him?  Yes, quick, give him a massage before it’s too late.  It’s working, he’s starting to move, he’s warming up.  There, phew, that was close.  Are you okay Thixotropic Man?  Why yes, thanks to you Massage Woman and your powerful hands – you are our real hero.

Okay, what in the world!  Ha!  Apparently I need a day job.

Jesting aside, what in the world was behind this silly dialogue?  Have you heard the word thixotropy before?  It’s not one that we hear very often, but you know the concept.  When we wake up in the morning, don’t we feel sluggish?  Our bodies ache until we “warm” up.  When we get moving, the cells of our body can move more freely it seems.  But what is really going on?

All between the cells of our body is a fluid called ground substance – another new word for the day perhaps?  Ground substance is a transparent and viscous fluid and it surrounds all the cells in our bodies.  A viscous fluid is like egg whites and is gooey and it resists movement.  Can you see where I am going with this yet?  Keep reading.

Egg Whites are Gooey!

The ground substance is made up of water and glycoaminoglycans!  Ouch, sorry, a chemistry teacher came up with that word, not me, but we can use GAGs for short.  I had to look it up too, but is a type of sugar or carbohydrate.  You’ll have to look it up if you are dying to know more.   But it is the nutritive part of the ground substance.  The ground substance is not only nutritious to our tissues, but it is used to carry away waste – it is sugary waste water and sugar water all in one.

Okay, now, we all know what happens when we stir sugar in water – it dissolves.  Well, ground substance has about 70% water and 30% GAGs and if it just sits around, it is like egg whites or jelly.  But, it has the remarkable property that when you stir up the ground substance, it becomes more like water!

Ground substance is thixotropic!

Formally, a thixotropic substance is one that has the quality of becoming more fluid when stirred and more solid when undisturbed.

NOW!  Back to Thixotropic Man!

When we sleep at night, we get sluggish.  And you know why now!  Because all the cells in our body are no longer floating in a sugar water, but in a sugar gel.  Our muscle fibers are bathed in a goo.  And when we wake up and move around, or get a massage, our body “warms” up and melts the ground substance.

Massage therapy actually changes the viscosity of a ground substance from a gel to a fluid and is why we really feel we can move when we get off the table!

There is more to the story, but I think I will save that for our next episode of Thixotropic Man!  So stay tuned massage junkies! 🙂

p.s.  Let me share a reference of a therapeutic master that helped me out today…Massage for Orthopedic Conditions by Thomas Hendrickson.

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