Kink Culture

My hope is for individuals, couples and polycule kink families to come as they are and feel welcome! Though kink is not for everyone, it’s important not to shame someone for not being vanilla. As often said, don’t yuck someone else’s yum!

The kink community today, not unlike the LGBT and Polyamory communities, is a culture coming into its own and likewise faces its own levels of stigma and oppression.  Since I began my career in professional counseling, it has been my intention to be welcoming and inclusive and that is no different in regard to kink.  I’m happy to support BDSM, Leather and Fetish cultures.  I’m not an expert, but I want folks to feel safe and accepted when they come.

Also, I think we need to recognize that with supporting statistical surveys, the intense popularity of kink movies and novels demonstrates that kink is not the stigmatized disorder many sexologists, past and present, have deemed it.  In fact, many of the sexual rigidities we have seen are really based in shame or fear.

I’m happy to find that we even have Kink Guidelines (2019) for clinicians now, published by the Kink Guidelines Project. It’s easy to find BDSM checklists on the internet too, if you are exploring and questioning.

My hope is for my clients that practice kink to feel proud of themselves and be sexually healthy.  I’m happy to help with any of these kinds of issues:

  • Coming out to self and others
  • Building self-esteem and confidence
  • Negotiation of roles, ethics and agreements
  • Control and consent issues
  • Working on boundary issues and scene play struggles
  • Trust, openness and respect
  • Not going “too far”, triggering and honoring safe words/symbols
  • Being safe, sane and consensual

A few resources to find community in. A sense of belonging is important. And for some, kink can be alienating, until you find your peeps. There are numerous events nationwide and these are just local to Texas. Beyond Vanilla in Dallas is a good place to start and you’ll find a joyful group of people that will welcome you.

I am a member of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.  You might like to take a look at their resources here.  Also, professions may wish to see the KGP. I have also found the books and support of Stefani Goerlich, LMSW, to be quite helpful and she has won the AASECT award for her work.