Youth First Texas – Pride Beneficiary

Story by Renee Baker in Dallas Voice Tavern Guild Pullout – Fall 2010

When Brian Jacobs marched in his first Pride Parade, he said he felt “like nothing else mattered but being who I am.”  He felt a “oneness” that surrounded him with people who were okay with who he was.  Jacobs, a proud youth at Youth First Texas, got his Pride start by carrying the lead banner for the 2006 Pride Parade.

YFT has been named the official beneficiary of this year’s Alan Ross Texas Freedom Parade, or Pride Parade for short.  The selection process is governed by the Dallas Tavern Guild, a committee of upwards of twenty taverns in the Dallas Community.  Michael Doughman, Executive Director for the Guild, said each tavern may nominate an organization and present their reasoning for selection, but the final choice is “through a majority consensus”.

Doughman said though that all members felt strongly about the mentoring of the next generation and “obviously Youth First is a good decision to support that”.   The Guild, he said, has a strong relation with YFT and this is the third year they have been selected.

The youth organization was incorporated in 1999 with the mission to bring LGBTQA youth together with programs and resources that “facilitate empowerment and self-acceptance.”  According to YFT Director Sam Wilkes, the organization recently moved to a new location on Harry Hines and has served 1300 youth this year.

Wilkes said the center has seen a 25% increase in attendance since last year alone.  He believes the increase is due to new programs, a new and safer facility and a strong Youth Board.  Stephen Tune, a YFT Board Member, mentioned it was time to move as the previous facility on Maple was becoming unsafe – especially after a “murder took place in the immediate area and the police held us in lock-down.”

YFT publicly announced earlier this year that with increased center demands coupled with a downturn in the economy, the center is in need of additional financial support.  Hence, the announcement that YFT is the beneficiary of the Pride Parade is good news for the center.

Doughman said the Guild realizes there are “many issues among the LGBT community” that need to be addressed such as HIV support and they are doing what they can to help.   He said, “The Guild strongly believes in the future of the next generation – which is why YFT has been selected.”

At the center, Wilkes says the most popular program is the Coming Out Group.  He says of the 4 week peer led series, youth learn to come out to self, friends and family, at their own pace and comfort level.

Tune says the center gives the youth a safe zone where “youth can be comfortable in themselves, because they are no longer a freak.”  He says it gives the youth a chance to see their peers growing strongly among an atmosphere with adults who care.

Wilkes concurs.  He says, “The biggest service we offer is peer mentoring and inspiration.  By seeing other youth being productive, going to school and in healthy relationships, the environment is normalizing.”

The trinity of a safe space, youth programs and youth ownership, he says, provides this “weird synergy where you can reach youth on a deeper level.”

Wilkes says it is really amazing to see youth go from “introverted to completely empowered” and no longer hindered by what people think of them anymore.  He adds, “They become their own people.”

To receive the honor of being selected as a Tavern Guild beneficiary, the youth center is asked to provide 80 to 90 volunteers to help setup the parade route and support the parade operations and festivities.

To learn more about the Guild and the Pride Parade, go online to DallasTavernGuild.org. To learn more about Youth First Texas, to make a donation or become a parade volunteer, go online to YouthFirstTexas.org.


Posted in LGBT Publications | Comments Off on Youth First Texas – Pride Beneficiary

Erin Moore – Dallas Pride Grand Marshall

Story by Renee Baker – Dallas Voice Tavern Guild Pullout 2010

When Erin Moore got the message she was selected for Grand Marshal in the Pride Parade this fall, she said she was “flabbergasted and honored, but taken aback.”  Moore is probably just a bit more humble than most and thought there might be some kind of mistake.

No, there was no mistake about it.  The Tavern Guild picked Moore precisely because of her steady and strong contributions to the Dallas LGBT community over nearly 20 years – from Pride involvement to current President of Stonewall Democrats.

Moore said she was “really surprised and thrilled.”

Moore, from New Orleans originally, began her Dallas LGBT history 1992 by attending the Pride Parade.  She has proudly participated in the parade every year since then including marching 15 times.  But the year that meant the most to Moore was the year her mother came down and marched beside her.

“That mean a lot to me,” she says, “and it felt really good to have a proud mom.”

Moore said the Pride Parade helped her in the early days of coming out.  She worked then at Southern Methodist University when a coworker and her bumped into each other, only to discover each other were part of Family.

She smiled when he told her, “It is good to see your employer is well represented.”

Over the years, Moore’s favorite Pride moment was in 2003, the year we were all “emancipated” she says.  She was referring to the landmark Supreme Court decision of Lawrence v. Texas which overturned Texas sodomy laws.

Moore says, “That one [Lambda Legal] victory opened the door for every other equal right.”

Moore is the current President of Stonewall Democrats and has been active in numerous organizations including Lambda Legal, Leadership Lambda, GLSEN, Dallas Gay and Lesbian Alliance and HRC. She was one of the organizer’s for the 40th Stonewall March in Dallas last year and was a host of KNON Lambda Weekly for six years.  She lives in Dallas with her long term partner Patti Fink.

Moore says of her honor, “I hope to wear the tiara well!”

 

Posted in LGBT Publications | Comments Off on Erin Moore – Dallas Pride Grand Marshall

Paul Lewis – Dallas Pride Grand Marshall

Article by Renee Baker in The Dallas Voice – Tavern Guild Pullout, Pride 2010

Paul Lewis likes to say he is old – one of the last of the “old folks” that started with the Pride Parade when Alan Ross was the prime organizer and for who the Parade is now named.  Lewis, along with Kathy Jack of Jack’s Backyard, was one of two key players that inherited the Pride Parade responsibility when Alan Ross died in 1995.

As such, Lewis feels it is “quite an honor” to be selected as one of the Grand Marshals in the Alan Ross 2010 Texas Freedom Parade and “stand out and be proud with 20,000 people like you”.

Lewis says Ross was an “awesome man” who was dedicated to being proud and to mentoring those around him.  With a little of that guidance, Lewis eventually became a President of the Tavern Guild which hosts and produces the annual Pride Parade.

Lewis, who recently retired from over 25 years at Caven Enterprises, says it was through his employer that his service involvement with the LGBT community “flowed”.

“Caven gave us the time,” he says, “to be part of the community and to just let it happen.”

Among his past pride moments, Lewis fondly recalls his days as a past Board Member at the Oak Lawn Counseling Center, when it was located on Lemmon Avenue.  While there and through the years, Lewis learned it is not just the people on the scenes that make it all happen, but it is the people behind the scenes that are just as important.

Lewis would like to give thanks to his roommates Kenneth Jones and Karen Daly who have lived with him for over two decades for their “support that really helped him”.

Lewis also would like to encourages our youth of tomorrow to “go get it and make us proud.”   The beneficiary of this year’s Parade is Youth First Texas of which Lewis finds to be a great choice as “we all say it – the youth are our future”.

Posted in LGBT Publications | Comments Off on Paul Lewis – Dallas Pride Grand Marshall

Self Injury and Youth – A Literature Review

A Literature Review of Youth that Self Injure by Renee Baker, August 2010

What Do We Know About Self Mutilation?

Historically, self-mutilation was considered a form of suicidal behavior until suggested otherwise by Karl Menninger in his 1938 book, Man Against Himself, in which he postulated that self-mutilation was a type of partial suicide or a local-self destruction used to avert a complete or total suicide (as cited in Bolognini, Plancherel, Laget, Stephan and Halfon, 2003).  Hence, self-mutilation is defined such that it is self-injurious behavior with no intention of suicide.  To distinguish self-mutilation from say smoking that unintentionally causes lung cancer, there is a deliberate attempt to destroy one’s own body tissue or organs (Nock, 2009).  Additionally, self-mutilation is pathologically distinct from culturally sanctioned bodily self-modification rituals such as ear piercing, body sculpting, branding and genital circumcision (Bolognini, et al., 2003).  These sanctioned types of bodily modification are not meant to inflict a violent and disfiguring injury, but are done for ornamentation, social or spiritual purposes (Hicks, 2008).  Self-mutilation is also distinct from self-poisoning in which there is no intent on tissue damage (Shiner, 2008).

Self-mutilation has been categorized by Favazza (as cited in Hicks, 2008) into three distinct categories including superficial, stereotypic and majorSuperficial self-mutilation is a common form of self-mutilation seen among adolescents and includes such behaviors as cutting oneself with a knife or razor, skin picking, severe nail biting (Brain, Haines, Williams, 2002), stabbing, scratching the skin, burning or scalding the skin, hair pulling and interfering with wound healing (Hicks and Hinck, 2008).  Some of the items of choice used to self-mutilate include pencil tips, paper clips, pins, shards of glass, razors, box cutters, scissors and drink can tabs (Hicks and Hinck, 2008).  Areas most often cut are wrists, arms, ankles, calves, inner thighs, belly, brassiere line, armpits and feet (Hicks and Hinck, 2008).

Stereotypic self-mutilation is seen generally in autistics and individuals with mental retardation or Tourette’s syndrome and includes such rhythmic behaviors as hitting oneself, head banging, orifice digging, throat and eye gouging, self-biting and joint dislocation (Hicks and Hinck, 2008).

Major forms of self-mutilation are of an extreme nature resulting in significant tissue damage (Lambert and de Man) often completed by those who are either psychotic or intoxicated and include such self-destruction as eye enucleation, genital mutilation or castration, limb amputations and bone breaking (Hicks and Hinck, 2008).  Only superficial self-mutilation is considered in the remainder of this report.

Self-mutilation is a complex phenomenon that we are still largely in the dark on and much research is left to be done to understand the factors and etiology (Levenkron, 2006).  First, little data exists regarding detailed characteristics and the associating factors of self-injury reaching a clinical severity.  Second, there is little data available to make a distinction between suicidal and non-suicidal subsamples of self-injuring patients, which namely show which predictors contribute to develop self-injuring behavior with a previous suicidal history (Csorba, Dinya, Plener, Nagy and Pali, 2009).

The best predictor of self-injuring individuals includes childhood sexual abuse and family violence, and other life experiences such as loss of a parent or guardian, a childhood illness, a history of substance abuse, another family member that self-injures, poor mood regulation and/or a history of eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia (Moyer, 2008).

Individuals that self-mutilate do so for a plethora of reasons, many of which are not understood.  The intentional destruction of tissue has a purpose, but it is not for masochistic pleasure purposes; in other words, the pleasure of pain is not sought by self-mutilators in contrast to those that identify as masochistic (Hicks and Hinck, 2008).

Some report that self-mutilation acts as a catalyst for tension reduction and as such, a tension reduction model has been constructed to represent a simple drive reduction mechanism (Brain, Haines and Williams, 2002).  In such a model, researchers have proposed that when the individual reaches a certain level of intolerable anxiety and tension, individuals injure themselves in order to reduce the unpleasant and escalating feelings (Brain, et al, 2002).  According to Haines, any relief, which is temporary, serves to reinforce the behavior and individuals become trapped in a psychophysiological arousal related reinforcement process (as cited in Brain, et al., 2002).

Psychodynamic theorists suggests that self-mutilation is performed as a way to gain control over urges for sex or death (Nock, 2009).  In 1960, Zuk offered support that aggressive impulses in self-injury are sometimes directed against an external frustrating agent.  Zuk suggested that the self-injurer may regress to having an ego of an infantile level with a consequent breakdown of the identification of the ego and the body, where the body is no longer perceived as an extension of the self, but as an object in the environment.  When the aggression, for whatever reason, cannot be directed toward the true object, it is extended against the most immediate or nearest object, being the self-injurer’s body.  However, Zuk cautions that self-mutilation and self-injury (e.g., self-hitting) may not be equated exactly as self-mutilation may be more of a self-punishing behavior and self-injury more of an other-punishing behavior (Zuk, 1960)

The strong relationships that have been shown between self-mutilation and various psychiatric disorders have led many to conceptualize self-mutilation or non-suicidal self-injury in general as a psychiatric disorder (Nock, 2009).  However, self-mutilation is not a symptom of any one psychiatric disorder leading some to believe that self-mutilation should be its own psychiatric disorder (Nock, 2009).  Currently, the American Psychiatric Association indicates that cutting behavior and self-injury is associated with a variety of factors including borderline personality disorder, trauma, abuse, eating disorder, low self-esteem, and perfectionism (American Psychiatric Association [DSM-IV-TR], 2000).

Tatman offers a feminist theological perspective in that self-mutilation may be interpreted as an act of atonement, or, as the site of an individual’s awful struggle to live, to refuse the annihilation of human life.

Research on etiology is still needed as there appears to be many causes of self-mutilation.  An exhaustive list of antecedents has been documented by Hicks and Hinck (2008) and these include situational circumstances that cause unbearable emotional distress as well as impaired or reduced coping skills to manage the situation or the perceived stressors.  They summarize the large body of self-mutilation literature and list the reasons of self-mutilation including: to run away from feelings, to feel pain outside rather than on the inside, to cope with emotional feelings, to express anger toward oneself, to overcome numbness and feel alive, to shut off emotions, to gain control of self or others, to call for help by expressing in a nonverbal and serious way, and to manipulate situations or others.  (Hicks and Hinck, 2008)

In contrast to what is often thought, self-mutilating behavior is not about causing pain, but about alleviating it (Cross, 2007).  It is said to be a private act where the self-mutilator experiences the pain alone.  Cutters in particular often report a sense of relief when they see a flow of blood and further describe this as giving them a sense of control (Cross, 2007).

Cross divides self-mutilators into those that feel hyper-stressed and those that feel dissociated (2007).  The hyper-stressed feel overwhelmed and unable to cope, they feel exposed and they feel sensitive.  When they self-injure, they feel relieved, in control and calm again.  The dissociated feel numb, lost, alone, disconnected and unreal.  When they self-injure, they feel real, alive, functioning and able to act again (Cross, 2007).

Self Mutilation Studies Among Adolescents

Self-injurious behavior usually appears in the early to middle adolescent years and are seen across ethnicities and gender lines (Moyer, 2008). Rates of self-mutilation among the general U.S. adult population and clinical adult population have been estimated respectively at 4% and at 21% (Briere and Gil, 1998).  By contrast, rates of self-mutilation among U.S. adolescent community samples and adolescent psychiatric inpatient samples were found to be respectively 14-39% and 40-61% (as summarized by Nock and Prinstein, 2005).  Vanderhoff and Lynn (as cited in Cross, 2007) report that self-injury among American college students was measured at a 32% rate.

Even with alarming rates, studies among adolescents (especially LGBT adolescents) that self-mutilate have not received a great deal of attention in the literature and remain a poorly understood behavioral phenomenon (Nock and Prinstein, 2005).  Even aside from youth that self-mutilate, gay youth alone as a group were not studied at all until 1972 and it took another 15 years passing before the next study appeared in the literature (Remafedi, 1987).  Studies of transgender youth that self-mutilate are absent all-together from the literature based upon an EBSCO database search.

One study in Switzerland examined the relationship between suicide attempts and self-mutilation by adolescents and young adults (Bolognini et al., 2003).  They found that while there was a correlation between those that attempted suicide and those that self-mutilated, that there was only a partial overlap attesting that suicide and self-harm might correspond to two different types of behavior.  They additionally found that there was an association with eating disorders, notably bulimia, with those that harm themselves.  An association with anorexia nervosa was also observed.  They concluded that both anorexia and self-mutilation can be interpreted as being linked to body dissatisfaction, asceticism, or a pervading sense of ineffectiveness, which often implies self-punishment (Bolognini et al., 2003).

In another study in Hungary, 105 adolescent outpatients suffering from self-injurious behavior (28 males and 77 females ranging from 14 to 18 years of age) were followed over an 18 month period.  Over this period, the motivation of patients to stop self-mutilating was low.  Two-thirds of the individuals practiced impulsive type self-mutilation and about 30% practiced a more premeditated self-mutilation.  Scratching and cutting were the most prevalent type of self-mutilation behavior employed.  Researchers measured the time passed between the initial thought about self-mutilating and the actual self-mutilation act.  They found that 19% of youth spent hours and days thinking about it ahead of time, 27% thought about it for 6 minutes to an hour, and 55% spent less than five minutes between the thought and the action.  They found there were no significant sex and age factors.  (Csorba, Dinya, Plener, Nagy and Pali, 2009).

In Germany, 2863 families with children aged 7-17 participated in the BELLA study and found that what parents report about their children differ than what the children report.  It was found that 2.9% of the adolescents 11-17 years of age reported self-mutilation or suicidal attempts within the previous six months.  But, for parents, the prevalence rates reported over the same six months was only 1.4%.  The study also found that reports of self-mutilation or suicidal attempt for children 11 years of age and under was very rare, but the occurrence of suicidal thoughts was similar to the rate for adolescents.  No associative factors related to gender were found in this study.

The most pertinent study found in regard to our research topic of interest was that of self-mutilation and homeless youth by Tyler, Whitbeck, Hoyt and Johnson from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln (2003).  The results of their study follow-suit to the study desired herein, in particular, to that of self-mutilation and LGBT homeless youth in the Dallas area and associated with Youth First Texas.

The UNL team recognized that self-mutilation has been overlooked in studies of homeless and runaway youth, and given that they have high rates of abuse and mental disorders associated with self-mutilation, they provide a highly relevant non-clinical sample to investigate factors associated with self-mutilation (Tyler et al., 2003).  The UNL study was based on interviews with 428 homeless youth aged 16 to 19 from four different Midwestern states.  Prior to the UNL study, no study on self-mutilation and homeless youth had been researched or reported.

The UNL team had several motivations for doing the research on this adolescent group including the fact that this group likely had a high rate of child abuse trauma, which is usually associated with self-mutilation in the literature, that this group had many stressors in the streets or previously from home, and that this group has a lack of current adult support.

A central issue of the research was to explain why some adolescents self-mutilate while others do not.  The study improves upon previous studies by using a large sample multivariate analysis to examine factors associated with self-mutilation among the nonclinical homeless and runaway youth.  The sample of 428 homeless youth included 187 males and 241 females aged 16 to 19 years old living in shelters, on the street, or independently with friends or transitional living, because they were either pushed out or ran away.

Among the sample of homeless youth, 69% indicated they had participated in self-mutilating behavior and 12% reported needing medical attention as a result.  No difference between males and females was found.  The most prevalent form of mutilation was cutting or carving the skin.  Youth who experienced severe trauma as a child were more likely to self-mutilate.  The end result was that sexual abuse before running away, ever having stayed on the street, deviant subsistence strategies, and major depression were associated with an increase in the number of self-mutilating acts.

References

American Psychiatric Association. (2000). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders: DSM-IV-TR. Washington, DC: Author.

Bolognini, M., Plancherel, B., Laget, J., Stephan, P. & Halfon, O. (2003).  Adolescents’ self-mutilation – relationship with dependent behaviour.  Swiss Journal of Psychology, 62, 241-249.  Retrieved July 1, 2010, from the EBSCO database.

Brain K., Haines, J. and Williams, C. (2002).  The psychophysiology of repetitive self-mutilation.  Archives of Suicide Research, 6, 199-210.  Retrieved July 1, 2010, from the EBSCO database.

Briere, J. and Gil, E. (1995).  Self-mutilation in clinical and general population samples: Prevalence, Correlates, and Functions.  Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 37, 1287-1293.  Retrieved July 1, 2010, from the EBSCO database.

Csorba, J., Dinya, E., Plener, P., Nagy, E. and Pali, E., (2009).  Clinical diagnoses, characteristics of risk behavior, differences between suicidal and non-suicidal subgroups of Hungarian adolescent outpatients practicing self-injury. European Child Adolescent Psychiatry, 18, 309-320.  Retrieved July 1, 2010, from the EBSCO database.

Cross, T. (2007). Self-mutilation and gifted children.  Gifted Child Today.   49-50, 65.

Hicks, K. and Hinck, S. (2008). Concept analysis of self-mutilation. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 64, 408-413.  Retrieved July 1, 2010, from the EBSCO database.

Hilt, L, Cha, C and Nolen-Hoeksema, S (2008).  Nonsuicidal self-injury in young adolescent girls: moderators of the distress-function relationship.  Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 76, 63-71. Retrieved July 1, 2010, from the EBSCO database.

Lambert, A. and de Man, A (2007).  Alexithymia, depression and self-mutilation in adolescent girls.  North American Journal of Psychology, 9, 555-566.  Retrieved July 1, 2010, from the EBSCO database.

Levenkron, S.(2006). Cutting: Understanding and Overcoming Self-Mutilation.  New York, NY: Norton & Company, Inc.

Miskinis, R & Dumont, J. (2009). Modern GLBTQ Youth at a Glance: Youth First Texas Presents Demographic Survey.  The National Conference on LGBT Equality: Creating Change.  Retrieved June 24, 2010 from http://www.thetaskforce.org/downloads/creating_change/cc09/cc09fullprogram.pdf.

Moyer, M. (2008). Working with self-injurious adolescents using the Safe Kit.  Journal of Creativity in Mental Health, 3, 61-67.  Retrieved July 1, 2010, from the EBSCO database.

Nock, M. (2009).  Why do people hurt themselves?  New insights into the nature and functions of self-injury. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 18, 78-83.  Retrieved July 1, 2010, from the EBSCO database.

Nock, M. and Prinstein, M. (2005). Contextual features and behavioral functions of self-mutilation among adolescents.  Journal of Abnormal Psychology 114, 140-146.  Retrieved July 1, 2010, from the EBSCO database.

Remafedi, G. (1987).  Adolescent homosexuality: psychosocial and medical implications. Pediatrics 79, 331-337.  Retrieved July 1, 2010, from the EBSCO database.

Shiner, A (2008).  Self-harm in adolescence.  InnovAiT, 1, 750-758.  Retrieved July 1, 2010, from the EBSCO database.

Tatman, L. (1998). The Yearning to be Whole-enough or to Feel Something, Not Nothing: A Feminist Theological Consideration of Self-mutilation as an Act of Atonement, Feminist Theology: The Journal of the Britain & Ireland School of Feminist Theology, 17, 25-38.  Retrieved July 1, 2010, from the EBSCO database.

Tyler, K, Whitbeck, L, Hoyt, D. & Johnson, K. (2003).  Self-mutilation and homeless youth: the role of family abuse, street experiences, and mental disorders. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 13, 457-474.  Retrieved June 21, 2010, from the EBSCO database.

Zuk, G. (1960). Psychodynamic implications of self-injury in defective children and adults. . Journal of Clinical Psychology, 16, 58-60.  Retrieved July 1, 2010, from the EBSCO database.

Posted in Self-Injury | 1 Comment

Lesbians play big role in Women’s Foundation

Story by Renee Baker, Dallas Voice, Sept 17, 2010

Dallas organization dedicated to supporting, empowering makes diversity a cornerstone principle

Wendy Lopez likes to say, “When you help a woman, you help a community.”

Lopez and her partner, Connie Moore, open up their hearts and their home to do just that — help women. They do that by supporting the Dallas Women’s Foundation, one of the largest women’s foundations in the country.

This year, the DWF celebrates its 25th year of service to North Texas women and girls, with a mission to educate on philanthropy and empower women, and with a belief that investing in women and girls is a key necessity to building community.

Lopez, a DWF Advisory Council member, and Moore have both been part of the philanthropic mission for five years, and they support the ongoing outreach to educate women on philanthropy. As women of means, the couple also opens their home to host the DWF Annual Luncheon.

Philanthropy has a long history of ties to education — to gather women together for each other, for their families and for social equality. In a spirit of benevolence, the DWF provides philanthropic education “to encourage women to discover the joy of purposeful giving.”

Lesly Bosch Annen, chief philanthropy and communications officer for DWF, says the education is “about setting up a giving plan and aligning one’s values with one’s giving, to be stronger in one’s philanthropy … and also to help you say no to giving outside of your focus.”

Sue Thieves Hesseltine, executive director for Our Friends Place, a DWF grantee, says that what the DWF gives is “far more than just the dollar.” She says the organization truly educates women and the community on how to give.

In teaching and helping women, the DWF changes women’s lives and hence their families — leading to a “ripple effect” throughout the community, she said.

Hesseltine also said that the benchmark research on the needs of women that DWF has done with their Out of the Shadows program has given the organization a basis to write proposals for grants.

According to Annen, the DWF provides research and subsequent reporting in the basic areas of economic security, health, safety, education and leadership.

The DWF opens the grant door up to all those supporting women. Annen said the organization has always been inclusive of ethnic, sexual and religious diversity. As such, DWF has a Lesbian Donors Circle, and the group is open to bisexual as well as transgender women.

Annen says, “Our position is, we are inclusive and we want to be a foundation for all women.”

Helen Chandler and Dena Bartnicki are partners and former DWF board members. Chandler held the grants chair and Bartnicki was the chair for governance.

Chandler said volunteering for the foundation was an “eye opening experience.” She and other volunteers were charged with visiting various agencies and organizations that applied for grants, to learn about their programs.

She said, “It was very important for us to really find out what was going on in the community so we could best serve those individuals in need.”

Chandler said that many foundations can’t incorporate the onsite investigation process, but DWF is able to with the help of a large volunteer research team which has between 20 and 40 members, depending upon the grant cycle.

The DWF has two grant cycles each year, in the spring and in the fall. The 2010 fall grant cycle is now closed and recipient announcements will be made in November. The 2011 spring grant cycle will begin in November of this year, and application information will be available at that time.

Of the granting process, Barntnicki said, “What we like [about DWF] is that they really run a very tight ship. They use board members and volunteers very well, so donations are not funding a huge organization.”

New researchers for the grant process are not just thrown into the fray, Bartnicki said, but are paired up with experienced researchers and go through extensive training. She said that the research team members are dedicated and some have as much as 20 years of experience under their belts.

Bartnicki attributed the dedication to a well-thought-out training program that gives women clear goals and expectations, so that they get a sense of meaning from their contributions.

Chandler mentioned a few of the LGBT-related programs they were proud to have funded take place at organizations, such as Youth First Texas, University of North Texas and the Out Takes Film Festival. Other LGBT organization recipients have included the Human Rights Campaign, Resource Center Dallas, the Astraea Lesbian Foundation for Justice and the National Center for Lesbian Rights.

Since its founding in 1985, the DWF has invested more than $13 million in more than 950 organizations in North Texas, primarily Denton, Collin and Dallas counties. DWF’s current annual endowment is $2 million, and it is one of the largest endowments for women in the country, according to Bartnicki.

Pam Gerber, another former board member at DWF, agreed with Bartnicki on funding agencies such as Youth First Texas.

“I would have loved to have an LGBT program like that when I was a kid.” she said. “There should be one in every city.”

Gerber said the DWF is dedicated to the LGBT community. She said the DWF’s current president and organization cofounder, Becky Sykes, initially made serving the lesbian community a priority.

“She totally gets it,” Gerber said, “and when it comes to social justice, she does the right thing.”

Gerber agreed, too, with Chandler and Bartnicki that the organization is a tightly run ship. She said the organization makes educated decisions to make a bigger impact — every dollar is going to the right place.

On Oct. 29, the foundation will hold its 25th Anniversary Luncheon featuring keynote speaker Queen Latifah. Latifah, who is well known for her music and for inspiring women to empowerment and self-acceptance, will be speaking on how to help young women build a strong sense of self-esteem.

For more information about the DWF, the Annual Luncheon and how to get involved, go online to DallasWomensFoundation.org.

Renee Baker is a transgender consultant and massage therapist and may be found online at Renee-Baker.com.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition September 17, 2010.

For full story and comments, see here.

Posted in LGBT Publications | Comments Off on Lesbians play big role in Women’s Foundation

Nate Phelps: Escaping the darkness

Story by Renee Baker, Dallas Voice

Son of infamous anti-gay crusader Fred Phelps offers a glimpse of what life was like growing up on the inside of the Westboro Baptist cult

Nate Phelps has a unique identity, but an identity many of us can relate to on different levels. He’s a parent; he’s a partner; he has kids, and he has to come out of the closet regarding his family life.

Nate Phelps

But Phelps is not gay. Instead, you could say he comes from a family life that is spiritually haunting — one led by his father, Fred Phelps Sr., the infamous pastor of Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas.

Phelps, who is now estranged from his father, says he often feels “pulled in two directions.” On one hand, he wants to explain to the world how his birth family evolved into what it is. On the other, he has found from experience that people get uncomfortable learning who he is, and he has to “reassure them” that it is okay to criticize his father’s views.
Phelps Sr., at age 80, is well known for attacking the gay community and operating the website GodHatesFags.com. The WBC launched a protest at the Resource Center Dallas in July of this year, leading to a counter-protest that raised a record-breaking $11,000, according to RCD spokesperson Rafael McDonnell.

McDonnell said of the protest, “What struck me is how the entire community came together, saying, ‘We are not going to allow this in our neighborhood.’”

The younger Phelps, now 51, was not surprised by the event. Counter-protests are common, and even satirical filmmaker Michael Moore has been to Topeka with his Sodom Mobile to confront Phelps Sr.

“I thought my father was going to punch him at any second,” Nate Phelps recalled.

It is a telling statement, as Nate Phelps said his father used to beat his 13 children, often with a long piece of wood — his Biblical rod. Nate’s brother Mark and sister Dot are also estranged from the family.

“Our childhood was full of abuse and violence,” Nate Phelps said, “and that was our sense of what normal was.”

He said his father taught them they were all “hell-bound sinners” and they could not say enough prayers to be saved. He said his father was “profoundly critical, destructive and violent towards us.” And he said the worst part was that his father was so strong and manipulative, that Nate began to “internalize it and believe it” himself.

As an example, Nate Phelps recalls an early memory when his father chopped off his mother’s hair. “When he took those blades to my mother’s head, he was making a powerful assertion that he had absolute control over her very salvation. So ingrained were these beliefs that I remember fearing that, by cutting her hair, my father had condemned her to eternal damnation,” Nate has said in a speech.

Nate Phelps subsequently went through two significant periods of counseling in his life, the first period focusing on the religious abuse. He found a counselor with a theological background and, he said, it exposed him to more information about religion and theism.

Ultimately, Nate found solace in an atheistic outlook. But in the background of his mind, he said, he will have to fight the religious programming for the rest of his life,  those expectations of walking in his father’s footsteps.

“The logical mind can dispute the expectations,” he said, “but the emotions — that is another thing all together.”

Nate, who has three children of his own, entered therapy a second time when he recognized that he “overreacted to events.” This time he was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder resulting from the extreme violence he experienced at the hands of his father.

With a deep sense of anxiety, Nate spent two weeks in a mental hospital trying to find peace and answers.  But he said, “Certainly, there were no answers to be had.”
Nate Phelps said it was all the “thinking about things” that caused the anxiety. He said he realized that there simply was no way to think his way through it, though he tried to rationalize life to block his emotions. He eventually found that more thinking just increased his anxiety levels and he has been learning to find closure with the various issues in his mind.

“My father is not a human,” Nate Phelps said.  “The official story around the household is that Dad was once balanced and even-keeled, until he found salvation. And then suddenly, he became aggressive.

“But I don’t know what made him so angry and hateful,” Nate added.

Perhaps it was because Phelps Sr.’s mother died when he was 5. Perhaps it was because his father had a violent job. Perhaps he invested so much energy in a runaway, run-amuck spiritual path that admitting a lifetime of mistakes is way too much for his ego to contend with.

Nate Phelps may never put all the pieces together from his childhood, but he is learning to live a life of peace now, in Alberta, Canada with his new fiancée, Angela. “Angela keeps me on my toes and keeps me communicating,” he said.

But Nate can’t help but be honest and share that he still sometimes wonders what people would think of him if they really knew him.

Today, Phelps speaks internationally about his life, about his belief that “things are good enough for now,” and about “living in the gray.” In fact, his usual speech is entitled “The Uncomfortable Grayness of Life.”

It is hard to live this way, between black and white, Nate Phelps said. But, he added, rather comfortably, there no absolutes anyway.

For more about Nate Phelps, his writing and his speaking, go online to NatePhelps.com. For more about Fred Phelps and WBC, go online to their new website, GodHatesTheWorld.com.

Renee Baker is a transgender consultant and massage therapist and can be found online at Renee-Baker.com.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition September 17, 2010.

For full story and comments, see here.

Posted in LGBT Publications | Comments Off on Nate Phelps: Escaping the darkness

Being There

About twenty years ago, when I was doing some early research at UT Dallas, my advisor gave me some sage advice.  Not about school, but about relationships.

He shared with me that we get so busy sometimes, wrapped up in our careers and own interests, that we don’t make time for others.

It is simple advice, but he said whenever his wife asked him to be there, he was there for her.

I’ve applied that simple lesson to my life since then, just to be there for others, and it is one of the best things I’ve ever done.  We do, of course, need to be able to say no when we have to say no, but being there is a wonderful way to share your love with someone.

Ironically, it’s often much easier to be there for someone than to resist getting involved.  Often, they only need to know you are there for them.   That in itself says you love them and will care for them in their time of need.

Likewise, when someone is there for us, in whatever way, we feel comforted to know we are not alone and can share in life’s burdens and joys.

So, next time somebody asks you for a small favor or a little  help, try to say yes if it will help them take another step forward.  It’s a wonderful way to live and a wonderful way to love!

Enjoy! 🙂

Renee

Posted in BLOG Entries | 1 Comment

Margaret Mercer – A Herstorical Woman of Character

Every now and then I really enjoy finding age old writings from the past.  I was in the process of writing an article about the Dallas Women’s Foundation and was researching philanthropy, when I came across Margaret Mercer, born in 1791 in Annapolis.

Mercer was a philanthropist, but she as also a teacher of morals and ethics.  She encourages us all to cultivate our giving, but more so to develop our relations with “all mankind without exception”.

This is very in tune with my core belief that we must honor each and every human being, that we are all equal, and that we all have potential.

With a spirit of oneness, we allow peace to overtake our entire world.  We know longer divide between us and them.

Or, as I happened to recently write elsewhere:

Labeling someone as our enemy is akin to holding them to our belief that they can never change.  It is in reality, more about us than them.  It about us holding ourselves in a rigid state of belief, rather than being open to the belief that they may someday change.  Let us put faith in the potential of others, and in this same way, we put faith in our own potential to grow, which we know we innately have.

As Mercer says, our happiness is tied in-separately with our duties.  In other words, if we are to be happy and full of joy, we must learn to serve others in our work and in our lives.

The bottom line is we are wired to be happy and charitable at the same time.  They go together.  We must have hearts of beneficence as Mercer says, to lead us to our joy.

References

Mercer, Margaret, 1841. On cultivating the esteem, affection and friendship of mankind”, in, Popular lectures on ethics, or moral obligation, unknown publisher.  Retrieved from Ebsco database, September 2010.

Posted in BLOG Entries | Comments Off on Margaret Mercer – A Herstorical Woman of Character

Dallas Stonewall March 2010

Renee Baker – Photo courtesy Rev. Steve Sprinkle

I had a distinct honor of saying a few words at the Pride rally downtown Dallas outside the City Courthouse.  I spoke on two issues of importance, but also on something beautiful that happened.  It is not often that we as transgender people are honored by the LGB community, but two of our local leaders were proactive at making sure the T community was a part of the march.  Brenda Stowe and Nell Danvers were among those that led the March for Equality.  I spoke out that I was marching for our LGHT youth and also led an impromptu chant “Hey, hey, ho, ho, transphobia has got to go!”

The Dallas Voice story can be found here.

Posted in BLOG Entries | Comments Off on Dallas Stonewall March 2010

Beyond Butch

A Dallas Voice BLOG Entry by Renee Baker, June 22, 2010

If there’s one thing I’ve discovered in life, it is that I don’t have to take many steps forward before I stick another foot in my mouth.

This time, it happened just after I attended the Butch Voices Conference June 5 at Resource Center Dallas.

I was posting a note to my Facebook friends about the conference, and since I don’t identify as a butch, I made a “pre-emptive” statement saying, “And NO, I am not a butch!”

A friend called me to the carpet, “You said that as though it’s a bad thing to be butch.” I had to launch “Butch Appreciation Week” as my FB status to save myself!

Truly, I just didn’t want to be identified as butch, because I identify more as feminine. And truly, I do appreciate butches and we should start an appreciation week.

But being a transgender woman, I never felt an identity such as butch or femme applied to me. It is even a stretch for me to say I am a lesbian, though I’m in a relationship with another gal.

All these labels are still perplexing and complex. It takes about two seconds for the arguing to begin on what they all mean, what the implications are and who takes rightful ownership.

But a beautiful thing happened — there was none of this ego/identity arguing at the BV Conference. As Alpha Thomas said, it was all about honoring and respecting one another. Everyone had a chance to speak.

A major mission point of the BV Conference was and is to explore identities and embrace an entire spectrum of those who identify as Masculine of Center (a term coined by B. Cole of the Brown BOI Project).

It was not about “you have to be and do this,” in order “to qualify that you are this.”

Or as the conference organizers put it, “The point is, we don’t decide who is Butch, Stud or Aggressive. You get to decide for yourself.”

Thomas, an elder in the community, was happy to hear keynote speaker Jessica Pettitt urging everyone to relax about what a butch identity is. She had been waiting to hear this message for years.

She said, “God, am I hearing this? … I can’t believe this.”

Thomas said, “All these lines and labels separate us, they cause us to not work together, and it is time for the division to stop.”

She says we are an oppressed LGBT people and are oppressing each other with all these labels.

BV was a multi-cultural, age-diverse, mom and daughter, butch and butch-ally attended conference. And Thomas said, “The diversity made me feel so good.”

About 50 people were in attendance — including two men.

Wan-Lin Tsou felt the relaxed “define yourself” atmosphere to be very welcoming as well. She said the conference and keynote speaker really helped her to be proud of being a soft-butch that is attracted to other butches.

She said she had an “aha moment” when she realized she did “not need to feel weird or less-than just because I don’t necessarily match others’ … definition of being a part of the butch/femme dichotomy.”

Tsou also added, “It was also really enlightening to really look at labels as so limiting to not only myself but how I relate to others. Who is to say I can’t fall for a femme, too? And just because she ‘looks’ femme doesn’t mean that the way she carries herself isn’t butcher than me!”

For more about the Butch Voice National and Regional Conferences, go online to ButchVoices.com.

For more on this story, go to the Dallas Voice Website.

Posted in LGBT Publications | Comments Off on Beyond Butch