Renee Baker, Ph.D.EE, LPC

A Story by Renee Baker, Dallas Voice, July 9, 2009

Coordinator Heidi Pyron says Family VIolence Program helps victims of domestic violence gain autonomy, safety, longterm independence

It may have been a gunshot or a stabbing or an auto “hit and run” that put “Robert Morgan” in the hospital for a week. But because his former partner and abuser is still at large, his life is in mortal danger and his identity and story of recent domestic abuse must be withheld.

Morgan, though, is able to say that he has found his “lifeline” at Resource Center Dallas, with its Family Violence Program.

Heidi Pyron, FVP coordinator at RCD, reached out and called Morgan after receiving a referral from a concerned friend, who, Morgan said, “knew I was desperate.” Pyron, who has a decade of experience working with family violence issues, has been instrumental in helping Morgan get a new lease on life, he said.

Morgan said that the abusive relationship was clouded in confusion. He said he didn’t even realize at first that he was being abused and was even coerced into feeling guilty and that the abuse was his fault.

He said, “Before, I didn’t understand anything at all. Because of the cycle of abuse, you are brainwashed into thinking you are doing something wrong.”

Pyron said it is common for the abuser to make the victim feel guilty, shifting the responsibility away from themselves.

“Batterers,” she said, “rarely have a sense of accountability.”

Morgan, who is grateful for the RCD program, said, “What Heidi helped me with was to understand the cycle and dynamic and to learn it wasn’t my fault.”

Morgan, who recently has begun his transition as a female-to-male transgender man, said he was in a “butch-femme lesbian relationship with a very femme girl.” Their relationship ended “once and for all” when Morgan was rushed to the hospital with life-threatening wounds.

He had come to realize to abuse was an attempt on his life.

Financial assistance is available to victims of violent crime like Morgan. Through the Crime Victims Compensation Act, passed in 1979, he was able to get 100 percent state support for the $50,000 in hospital bills he incurred.

The program is supported through court costs from convicted offenders. In order to receive the compensation, Morgan said he has had to agree to participate in the legal proceedings against his former partner.

Pyron said it is a common myth that there is little to no domestic violence in relationships with same-sex partners, because the partners are assumed to be “more equal.” She said further we tend to assume the butch would be the batterer in an abusive lesbian relationship, but that assumption is unfounded.

“Size and looks mean nothing” Pyron said.

The rate of domestic violence in same-sex relationships is about the same as it is against women in non-LGBT relationships. According to Pyron, about one in four LBGT individuals will be subject to abuse in their lifetimes.

“Martin Silverberg” had night terrors every night, afraid of being choked to death by his ex-partner. Like Morgan, he, too, was led to believe the abuse was always his fault.

He said the abuse started out slowly, building after a couple of years to physical confrontations with shoving, choking and gripping that led to a continuous array of bruises.

“You don’t give up yourself all at once, but pretty soon they have complete control of your life.,” Silverberg said.

He said abusers are all the same, wanting power and control, and when a victim tries to get away, the violence gets worse.

“The more I became independent, the more he went crazy,” he said.

When Silverberg’s employer noticed the hand-shaped bruising on his arms, it was the first time that his abuse became readily apparent to others. But Silverberg thought he was just clumsy and didn’t at first recognize the bruises were due to the abuse.

Through professional counseling, he was able to finally realize that they were.

“I lived every day thinking I might die,” he said, “and I came home one day and realized I had to get away.”

Silverberg made his move and said his partner “beat the crap out of me.” He was too scared to even file assault charges, even though the unspecified injuries were severe enough to take a month to heal.

Pyron said it is all too common that the abuser becomes the most violent when their partner is about to leave the relationship.

“When one stands up to that power and control, it increases the abuse by the batterer,” she said.

Like Morgan, Silverberg said he is grateful to the FVP program at RCD.

“[Pyron] really opened my eyes a lot,” he said.

The FVP support group that Silverberg attends has helped him to realize that abusers tend to all follow the same patterns of control and power. He said they are all “Prince Charming” at first, making you feel like they are one in a million.

But they aren’t.

Silverberg is now living on his own and is back working. He plans on going back to school and said he is slowly reclaiming his life and those things his former partner took away from him out of jealousy and the need to control.

Though Silverberg said his ex-partner continues to stalk him from a distance, he is no longer in the grip of daily fear like before.

“I’m tired of running from him, and I know that I am over it,” he said, adding that he knew he was empowered when he was able to walk away from his partner saying, “All of your lies are going to catch up to you one day.”

While Silverberg feels optimistic for his own future, he thinks it is unlikely that his former partner will be able to change. RCD does not currently have programs to help batterers, but they coordinate with other LGBT-friendly agencies that do. Pyron encourages both batterers and those who have been abused to reach out for help.

With education and awareness programs, domestic violence in general has been steadily decreasing in the United States over the last 25 years. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, from 1993 to 2005, the annual rate of non-fatal intimate partner violence against women decreased from 9.8 per 1,000 women to 3.6. Correspondingly for non-fatal violence against men, the rate decreased from 1.5 per 1,000 men to 0.9.

The DOJ also reports that of all non-fatal intimate relationship violence against women, 3.1 percent were committed by other women. Correspondingly, 16 percent of intimate relationship violent acts against men were by other men.

Pyron said domestic abuse against transgender individuals seems to be the highest, with about 1 in 2 being abused in their lifetimes, though she said exact numbers are not known.

Pyron also said that there are no shelters available today for transgender men, transgender women or for cisgendered men. She said this is a “huge gap in service” that has yet to be filled.

(“Cisgendered” is the term preferred by many to describe those whose gender identity coincides with their societally-recognized gender.)

The FVP program promotes autonomy, safety and longterm independence to primarily LGBT survivors of intimate partner abuse. Their extensive services include crisis counseling, a monthly support group, information and referrals to various agencies such as shelters, assistance with obtaining protective orders, advocacy and educational outreach.

Morgan advises others like him to get help right away. He said, “You need an experienced person to guide you through this process, because it can be so confusing.”

“No one deserves to be abused,” said Pyron. “We all deserve the healthiest relationships we can have. The FVP program is about saving lives and improving the quality of those lives as well.”

The FVP program receives its grant funding through two primary sources, the Texas Health and Human Services Commission and The United Way. HHSC requires RCD to raise a matching amount, and it needs community support to reach their financial goals.

For more information about the FVP program or to donate to the program, go online to RCDallas.org. Those in abusive relationships who are looking for help can call the 24-hour hotline at 1-866-620-9650 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              1-866-620-9650      end_of_the_skype_highlighting.

For more on this story, please see here.

A Story by Renee Baker, Dallas Voice, June 4, 2009.

Youth First Texas recently released the results of a first-ever comprehensive survey of LGBT youth in the Dallas metropolitan area, and it suggests there may be a widespread mental health crisis among that population.

YFT officials said the study was born out of a need to determine if the nonprofit organization was meeting the needs of the youth it has pledged to serve.

Judith Dumont, director of administration at YFT, led the youth study. She said, “Any youth service provider that authentically understands their population should have a comprehensive study [of their own youth].”

She said there are national studies available, but this one is the only one available “in Dallas, in Texas and even the Southwest.”

The raw data for the study was collected from 100 LGBT and questioning youth and allies, ages 14 to 22, from October through December 2008. The subsequent statistical processing was performed by Jason Mintor, a doctoral candidate at Southern Methodist University.

In terms of sexuality, the survey showed that 46 percent of YFT youth identify as gay, 31 percent as bisexual, 13 percent as lesbian, 9 percent as straight and 4 percent as questioning.

Perhaps the most revealing statistic released was that 55 percent of YFT youth had attempted suicide in their lifetime, and more than 50 percent have considered it in the last year. One out of three had made plans to kill themselves in the last year as well.

Dumont, who takes these numbers seriously, also said to keep in mind that there may be “discrepancies between what youth report they are doing and what their actual behavior is.”

Still, philanthropist Mitchell Gold believes LGBT youth are indeed undergoing a “silent epidemic” of depression, a major factor in suicide. His recent book “Crisis” purports to expose “a tragic mental health crisis” affecting “hundreds of thousands of gay teenagers today.”

LGBT youth do report living in a state of continuous fear. And that, Dumont said, can lead to debilitating depression.

About 30 percent of YFT youth report depression and 22 percent report feelings of anxiety, which can originate at school, church or at home. About one quarter of YFT youth report being scared to go to school because of their sexual orientation, and about one fifth report having been assaulted at school for the same reason.
Homophobic slurs are being heard on a daily basis by 45 percent of the youth.

Many youth have shifted their religious ties away from the churches in which they were raised, according to survey results.

Dumont said, “Many youth were forced to choose between their identities and their church.”

The study shows, for example, that 70 percent of YFT youth were raised as Christians, but only 40 percent of today’s YFT youth identify as such.

Dumont, though, said she is excited that many youth are beginning to reclaim their religious identities by working with accepting churches such as the Cathedral of Hope and the Church of Transfiguration.

The study shows also that some youth have turned away from religion completely, with the number of those claiming to be atheists increasing from 10 to 20 percent as youth find new beliefs. About 25 percent of YFT youth shifted  to Wicca and other less traditional belief systems (not Christian, Buddhist or atheist).

The study reveals that a high percentage of LGBT youth are seeing mental health professionals. About 65 percent of YFT youth have previously been to see a psychotherapist, with 35 percent seeing one within the last year.

While Dumont said she recognizes that there are more LGBT youth in therapy than there are non-LGBT youth in therapy, she attributes this more to parents who cannot accept that their children are gay than to the idea that the young people themselves need therapy.

“Many of our youth swap stories about how when they came out to their parents, that they sent them to therapy,” she said.

Abuse within the family home was also not uncommon among those surveyed, with 46 percent reporting some type of physical, verbal, sexual or emotional abuse. The study reports 26 percent of youth had been “kicked out of their homes” and 21 percent had run away.

Many of the young people who responded to the survey said they have experienced various forms of rape, including forced sexual intercourse (23 percent) and forced oral sex (12 percent). About 12 percent said they have previously depended on sex for survival, often exchanging sex for food or shelter, and about 18 percent said they had exchanged sexual favors for drugs and/or money.

Habitual use of drugs and alcohol were another area covered in the survey, and about 45 percent of respondents reported previous drug usage while 75 percent reported previous alcohol usage. About 10 percent said they use drugs and alcohol on either a daily or near daily level.

Marijuana was the most common drug used, with 30 percent of the youth reporting prior usage. Cigarette usage was also common, with one-third of respondents reporting regular usage.

Previous self-mutilation was reported by 39 percent of YFT youth.
One surprising result, said Dumont, was the age that Generation Y youth are coming out to at least one parent. It is about three to four years sooner than when Gen X youth came out to their parents.

Dumont said the average age for Gen Y youth coming out is only 15.3 years of age, compared to anywhere from 18 to 20 years for Gen X youth.

Furthermore, 85 percent of the youth at YFT have at least one parent that knows their sexual orientation.

Dumont said that further studies at YFT are already planned with hopes of reaching 200 youth.

According to Bob Miskinis, one of the YFT founders, 1,100 youth were served at YFT in 2008, so there is an opportunity to collect data from a much larger sample size. Dumont said as they processed the 2008 data, they recognized there are additional questions they would like answers to.

Dumont said she is proud of how YFT is able to help through recreational programs, educational programs, social services and youth leadership development. The study found that respondents rated YFT’s services to be 91 percent effective and that youth comfort levels with their own sexual orientation/gender identity to have improved from 69 percent to 87 percent.

Of the events that YFT participates in, Dumont said the youth are especially fond of the Pride Parade.  She said they are “beaming with pride” while walking publicly hand-in-hand down Cedar Springs.

“When you have 30,000 people cheering for you, that is an intense validation,” she said.

Still, there is more to be done, Dumont said, especially in the area of youth outreach, which has largely been word of mouth thus far.

“It isn’t the youth who we are reaching that I worry about so much, but rather the ones we aren’t,” she said.

YFT will be releasing its latest findings at the Teaching for a Change conference later this month in Flagstaff, Az.

For more information about Youth First Texas or the comprehensive youth study, contact Dumont online at www.youthfirsttexas.org.

A Story by Renee Baker, April 9, 2009.

For over 15 years, Cordell Adams has used his left brain as a skilled ophthalmologist to treat the eyes of many clients in the Dallas gay community. And after all these years of detailed left brain work, Adams has unleashed his “jealous” right brain by writing about his nosey Southern grandmother, a grandmother who might be respectfully curious to know what is going on behind closed doors. His debut novel Light Bread is currently the #1 best-selling local paperback fiction.

Adams is not just a writer, but an inspirational storyteller with a heart. He realized he needed to tell his heartfelt stories several years ago after a couple of close friends of his passed away. He realized he needed to pay homage to those ancestors and friends that were near and dear to him, before time slipped away. In 2001, at 40 years of age, Adams began to write his first novel.

It didn’t exactly begin as a novel, though. It started out as a memoir about his “nosey, nosey” maternal grandmother, who is a loveable heroine to Adams. But when he submitted a draft to his publisher, they recognized that it would have much broader interest if written as a novel, speaking to something universal in us all.

With his new book LIGHT BREAD, the universal is our grandmother figures that are sometimes a bit too nosey. We know what he means, because we all have someone in our lives that fit the description. We all have someone that was just a bit too interested in everybody else’s business. Adams says with a chuckle, “My gramma was in your business, in the church business, in anybody’s business…all in the name of the Lord.”

Adams recently appeared at the Resource Center of Dallas with stage props in hand, ready to tell a story playing the role of his own grandmother, who’s “spirit” is projected into the character known as Veola Cook. We can envision his black grandmother through her life’s work, which Adams says was accomplished with “less than an 11th grade education, the gift of gab, a cast-iron skillet, and a worn-out Bible.” If we envision her peaking through the blinds on top of this, then the picture is clear. Add a few verses of scripture and you are there.

Bill Fenson, the Secretary for the North Texas National Speaker’s Association, was on hand for the evening. Fenson was impressed by Adams and agrees there was something universal in Adam’s heart stories. “Even though LIGHT BREAD is a story of a period of time in the past, it brought my grandmother back to present memory too,” he says. Who doesn’t have quirky grandmother stories?

Adams wants us to remember that in giving back, we should be sure to see the good in our past lives, not to just look at the worst of the worst. His novel is set back in a time during the tumultuous 1960’s, replete with racism in the South, where his novel is set. Adams grew up in Jacksonville, Texas, just south of Tyler. “I want to open minds to show that even though the South was segregated in the Sixties,” he says. “I have introduced a character to show that race relations were not all bad in a lot of places. One of those places may have been in my grandmother’s house.”

Adams is known well in the gay community as someone who gives back. When guests start to arrive at the Center, it is like a family reunion with hugs and conversations flowing from memories and friendships of the past. Adams has been a strong supporter of the gay community and has been a big part of the Human Rights Campaign, Turtle Creek Chorale and AIDS Services of Dallas.

LIGHT BREAD is selling incredibly well – so well, in fact, that it’s the #1 best selling local paperback book. Adams is happy to be “riding the wave” touring the country and appearing at schools, bookstores, conferences and organizational meetings. His book has sold more than 4000 copies with only four months of marketing. Perhaps with the spirit of Adams’ grandmother guiding things from beyond, 5000 copies will have been sold by the time the second novel is announced. (Psssst, his next novel will be called POT LIQUOR.)

“Light Bread, a first novel by Cordell Adams, weaves a lovely story around the tumultuous 1960s in his creation of Veola Cook–a brave, Black earth mother of wisdom, warmth and wit. But Veola has the strength of goodness and godliness to offer love and comfort to those in need, regardless of the danger she faces, regardless of the unrest in America…and regardless of the color of the many who depend on her.

– Billie Letts, author of “Where the Heart Is” (an Oprah Book Club selection), and MADE IN THE USA

Adams’ next appearance in the Oak Lawn area is at the Cathedral of Hope on April 26th. You can learn more about LIGHT BREAD and his upcoming public appearances through the publisher, Sweet Tater Pie Publishing at www.sweettaterpiepublishing.com.

For more on this story, click here.

A Story by Renee Baker, Edge Publications, April 1, 2009.

At his Hartwick College dormitory in New York, Bill Fenson was known as Father of the Floor. Fellow students turned to him when they needed trustworthy advice. Over 20 years later, Fenson is still watching over others to make sure they are alright.

In this time of economic woe, we could all use someone like “Father” Fenson to take care of us. While not an ordained minister, Fenson does feel a calling in a ministry of his own, a Career Assistance Ministry.

Fenson began his work at Cathedral of Hope in Dallas in April 2008, but the seeds were planted while in college, when he knew helping others with their career development was to be his role. He had started out as a salesman, but so many came to him for advice on their livelihoods, that it became “self evident that this is what I was meant to do.”

The Career Assistance Ministry program at Cathedral of Hope, the largest GLBT church in the United States, offers free career counseling every Monday afternoon. The program is a big hit, especially as unemployment rates have now climbed to 6.5 percent in Texas, according to the Texas Workforce Commission.

Fenson says this economy is different than any other bad time in the last 20 years. “It is impacting all economic levels,” he says. “Those that have been protected in the Ivory Towers of corporate America are learning that tighter purse strings are affecting them.”

Chuck Reed, an attendee to the Career Assistance Ministry, gives testimonial to the program. He is thankful for all the “invaluable assistance” that Fenson has given him. He says to Fenson, “I can’t say enough on how grateful I am for what you have helped with.” Reed has been able to find a new position through networking and at a higher rate of pay than he expected.

Attendees come to Fenson’s group in various emotional states including depression, anger and resentment. Fenson says the key to finding a new job is to break through the negativity and adopt a positive attitude. He chuckles a bit, “Just because you are down and out, doesn’t mean you should be looking for worms.”

Fenson moved to Texas from New York and finds it remarkable how helpful people are here. “Texas is a friendly and helpful place to be. Don’t try and be a Lone Ranger. There are so many that want to help you.”

Perhaps the best part of the program is that there is no charge to attendees. “This is definitely God’s plan for me to provide this service. That is why I am willing to do it for free too.” Fenson considers this service the best thing he can give to the church, because career assistance is truly what he does best.

Fenson will be a guest speaker at the GLBT Job Expo on April 1 at Southern Methodist University. The fair is sponsored by the Resource Center of Dallas. Fenson will be speaking on the importance of networking.

Visit www.billfenson.com for more information about the Career Assistance Ministry and Bill Fenson.

For more, click here.

Story by Renee Baker, Edge Publications, Feb 26, 2009.

Volunteering at a youth organization is something many in the LGBT community thrive on. It is in their blood, bones and heart. They know that service work is their calling. They volunteer because the wisdom of their own childhood experiences directs them to a place of need. They know that our LGBT youth need the same help they went without.

Bob Ivancic is just such an example of those that know how important it is to give back. After ten years as a founder and board member of Youth First Texas, now he’s stepped down from his board position and passed on the torch of service to a former Youth First graduate.

Ivancic is one of four founders of Youth First, a non-profit center supporting over 1,100 LGBTQ youth in the North Texas area. As he stepped down from the board of directors in January of this year, his dream also came true that one of the organization’s youth would take the helm. Brandon Dowdy, a former youth who “grew up” with Youth First since its inception, was just voted in as Senior Co-chair of the organization.

Youth First was founded in 1999 with the mission to bring LGBTQ youth together with programs and resources that “facilitate empowerment and self-acceptance.” It is not uncommon for LGBTQ youth to feel a sense of hopelessness and rejection and finding a home at Youth First is an important step in their development of a sense of pride.

The LGBT community though is still trying to determine how to come together as a whole and serve its youth peers. Dowdy said that “No other community, across the nation, and maybe even the world disregards their youth like the GLBT community does. It is not that the community doesn’t care, but that they don’t really know how.”

Ivancic though has never given up. According to Chris Hendrix, past President of Youth First, it would have been easy to close the doors of the organization in the early days when times were tough. He said though that Ivancic stuck it out and “from the beginning he nourished the organization to the place it is now…and now we have a great organization that helps hundreds of youth.”

Dowdy was once such a youth that was helped by Youth First. He first came to Youth First in 2000 when he was just 18 years old and Youth First was still wearing its baby clothes. He was unsure of himself and wondering “what I am doing here?” He felt that he was running out of hope, feeling like hope itself essentially failed him. Dowdy said, “I had hoped that my parents would understand me. I had hoped that my friends would truly know who I was and accept me. Hope was not something I had in my life when I came to Youth First, but I was luckily able to find it there.”

Ivancic, who is a Licensed Professional Counselor, recalls those days when Dowdy was still growing and dealing with the loss of connection to his father, who could not accept a gay son. Ivancic said, “Brandon was really struggling then and we became very close.”

Ivancic beams of pride when he speaks of Dowdy and his rise to Sr. Chair of the organization. Ivancic said, “To watch a youth come to the center, to see him struggling with himself, to age out of the youth program, to become a volunteer, to become a board member, and then now, to become the Senior Co-chair of the organization…what words can I say, but that somehow all of our youth’ hopes are somehow personified in Brandon.”

Dowdy echoes sentiment about Ivancic saying, “I still to this day have a soft spot in my heart for my dad, but when I came out to him, he couldn’t accept having a gay son. I was so broken beyond despair over this and Bob was there to help me through it. Bob, in a way, became like a second dad to me.” Dowdy has to wipe his tears when he speaks about how much Ivancic has meant to him.

Ivancic recalls his own struggles and confusion at being gay himself. He grew up in a generally happy middle class American family with five children. He said like so many gay youth that he always felt different and he tried to be “the best little boy in the world.” Ivancic chuckles and says that many of the “usual” signs of being gay were there like being an “exceptional” nurturer that lent a kind ear, being an actor in multiple theatrical productions and joining student council to avoid playing sports.

Ivancic got married at age 20 in 1985, but his wife was tragically killed just seven weeks later in a car accident. After coming to terms with her death, Ivancic was able to come to terms with his own sexuality. He came out in 1987 while attending the University of Texas at Dallas. A year later, he met his life partner Dan Dixon, and they have been together ever since; recently they celebrated their 20 year partnership with a recommitment in marriage in Los Angeles.

Ivancic said he began working with youth because it was a “confusing time for me.” He eventually worked at Cathedral of Hope working with homeless GLBT individuals. While he was there, he met Bob Miskinis, who is now the Youth First Director of Programs. They and others recognized there was no central organization that served GLBT youth. The Youth Services Advisory Panel was formed with members from DGLA, GLSEN, PFLAG, the Walt Whitman School, the Resource Center of Dallas and the Cathedral of Hope. The panel concluded that Youth First was needed and they met with a consultant to begin incorporating as a 501(C)(3) nonprofit organization.

Ivancic joined with Bob Miskinis, who is now the Director of Programs, Daryl Parker and Emilia Menthe at becoming the first four board members of the organization, which completed its incorporation in 1999. Ten years has passed and Ivancic has been a board member the entire time.
Dowdy hopes to continue the legacy that Ivancic leaves. He hopes to build Youth First into “a nationally recognized and renowned organization.” He said that he knows this can only be done by “continuing to do what we do and that is to take care of our GLBTQ youth.”

Hendrix is another of Youth First’s heroes and stepped down from the board of directors in January of this year. He has been a contributor to the mission of LGBT youth since the early days when he was a board member at DGLA and their youth program was called GLBYA (Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Young Adults). One of his proud moments has been in connecting Youth First to the Black Tie Dinner Foundation, the organization’s biggest contributor. Hendrix says, “To me it’s very important to try our best to leave this planet a better place than we found it. It’s important to me to know that I did my best to make that happen.”

Clearly, Ivancic and all those who have served at Youth First, have left the world in a better place than they found it. And as Ivancic steps down, as well as Hendrix, they clearly leave Youth First in good hands with Sr. Co-Chair Brandon Dowdy.

For more information about Youth First Texas, please visit their website at www.youthfirsttexas.org.

For more, click here.

A story by Renee Baker, Edge Publications, Oct 21, 2008.

What would you do if you were just diagnosed with possibly the worst illness of your life – human immunodeficiency virus, or HIV? If you were gay and not out to your family, where would you turn to for emotional support and counseling? For almost 20 years, people have been sent straight to the Legacy Counseling Center of Dallas, right from their doctors’ offices.

Legacy was founded in 1989, a grass-roots nonprofit organization started by a small group of individuals living with AIDS. As such, they have a frugal approach to mental health care delivering top quality services at rock bottom prices. Today, they are the largest provider of HIV counseling in North Texas.

Melissa Grove is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Executive Director at Legacy. She became the second intern at Legacy in 1991, when AIDS was still considered a “gay disease” and the year Magic Johnson announced he had HIV. Grove says we have come a long way since then, but discrimination against people with HIV is still prevalent. People from Oklahoma and from rural Texas areas drive for hours to see their counselors at Legacy, which has a staff of 20 employees. Many clients are too afraid to come out about their HIV status, so they tell others they have leukemia as a red herring.

Grove says the majority of their clients are LGBT and 99.9% of them are HIV-positive. They come to Legacy because they know they will find acceptance there. They won’t have to face any bigoted counselors who according to Grove, have been known to tell Legacy clients, “Of course you have AIDS, it is God’s wrath on gay people.”
At Legacy, you see a friendly face at every corner. Turnover is low and counselors work for a fraction of what they could earn elsewhere.

Legacy fills a niche – they are small, flexible and in an emergency, their door is open. Other agencies have a waiting list of six weeks, says Grove. At Legacy, clients can be seen in the same day. Grove says Legacy is not a government organization that gets wrapped up in the numbers. “Every person’s problems are important here.” she says. “We haven’t lost our personal touch – we have a family feel, but are very professional.” Grove says that because they are a small organization, they can tailor their approach to each client, rather than placing clients into a predetermined format of care – a format that often leaves clients out on the street.

Grove says “the system” is flawed. After clients are diagnosed with HIV, they are left with paying for expensive medications. According to Grove, “There comes a day when you can longer afford the co-pays.” She says many clients have to become destitute just to afford the life-saving medications. Grove also says many Parkland patients are not treated with proper health care. She says many clients that should be placed in HIV programs have been placed in hospice instead, because hospital workers just want to get these clients “out of their hair.”

In 1996, Legacy opened The Cottage in Oak Cliff. Counselors would call their clients, but they were too sick to come in. Grove says, “These individuals were dying in a place with nobody to care for them. They were soiled and couldn’t reach a glass of water. Alone and dying is really bad.” Legacy decided to open a home to care for AIDS clients at the end of their life cycles. Grove says some clients, who have never been loved, find a universal acceptance and are, in a sad way, the happiest they have ever been.

The Cottage also cares for those with episodic illnesses, who are nursed back to health. The alternative, Grove says, is for them to go to emergency rooms, where they are often neglected. The Cottage has seven private bedrooms that are full most of the time. There are two full-time nurse aids during the day and one during the night.
In 1999, when Oak Lawn Community Services closed, Legacy retained most of their counselors. At that time, Legacy absorbed the OLCS mental health program and started a substance abuse program. Counselors are paid by the session today, and many have private practices on the side to make ends meet. That is perhaps not surprising as Grove mentions that “Texas is second to the bottom on mental health and substance abuse spending.”

Today, Legacy is largely funded by the Ryan White Care Act and Texas State funding. They also receive much of their housing funding through HUD and HOPWA. Grove is grateful that the GLBT community and organizations like Black Tie and DIFFA have been so supportive. She says they “give, give, give, give, and give…it’s just astounding”.
Many clients live out their entire disease process while at Legacy, often having the same counselor through the entire course. Some begin by coming out to their families at Legacy and telling them they are gay. For some, it is a time of reunion for families as well, who have been estranged until the crisis of HIV brings them together again. For others, it is one-on-one counseling or group therapy.

Legacy also holds an HIV+ Women’s Retreat. Last year, there were 150 in attendance with Magic Johnson’s wife Cookie participating in the retreat. Grove says the retreat has educational seminars, guest speakers, information booths, bonding and fun girl stuff. She says the retreat really helps the women turn towards each other for support and keeps them connected to vital services.
Legacy is having their Annual Stocking Auction on December 14th at the Roundup Saloon on Cedar Springs. The auction is supported by local businesses donating baskets, wreaths, stockings and entertainment. The Roundup has been especially supportive after one of their employees passed away while at The Cottage.

Grove is grateful that Legacy is able to really care for their clients and give them the respect and dignity that we all deserve. After all, she says, “If you can’t feel human in a counseling center, when can you feel human.”
The Counseling Center is in need of volunteers, especially individuals able to adopt an evening a month at The Cottage, to bring dinner for seven.

More information about Legacy is available at www.legacycounseling.com.

For more on this story, see here.

Story by Renee Baker, EDGE Publications,

Every day, she travels 40 miles. Not in her car, but on her bike and on patrol. Police Officer Laura Martin serves as the LGBT Liaison Officer for the Dallas Police Department, and she was recently at the Resource Center to speak to the Metroplex Crossdressers Club (MCDC) about her role with the police department and issues of safety.

Safety is often of utmost concern to openly transgender individuals, and knowing that they have the backing of the Dallas PD is reassuring. Martin’s personal visit to MCDC reinforced that assurance.

MCDC is a nonprofit organization that has a local legacy of supporting crossdressers and transgender women since the 1970’s. Rebecca Lynn White, President of MCDC, says that MCDC provides a “safe haven” for transgender individuals.

White, who identifies as a transwoman, is in the midst of her own transition to female. She says her biggest concern is when she goes into “new environments” as she doesn’t know what to expect. She doesn’t know if she will find acceptance and feel safe. In particular, she prefers to avoid the bar scene in the Oak Lawn area as it can “get rowdy”.

Not all feel unsafe, though. Anna Sparks, Secretary/Treasurer for MCDC, says she really hasn’t had any issues of safety other than being approached by a few “strange guys” in gay bars. But, she does agree that for many, “they are terrified of just walking out the door”. According to Sparks, the bigger issue is employment and coming out at work more so than safety.

Still, transgender individuals are reported to be murdered at rates much higher than any other minority group, but statistics are not tracked by the FBI so exact numbers are unknown. The viciousness of attacks on transgender individuals, according to Nancy Nangeroni, does at least corroborate that these are hate crimes. Nangeroni is a former Executive Director of the International Foundation for Gender Education.

According to Carrie Wise, a sergeant of the North West Division of the Dallas Police Department, there has only been one Dallas hate crime reported in the last year.
Wise, who also attended the MCDC meeting, recommends that people go out in groups and to be aware of one’s surroundings. She says more than anything, “It is not gender, but windows of opportunities for crooks.”
Wise is proud of the work that the DPD is doing. She says, “The officers in this area are hard working. They are out here to put bad guys in jail and you gotta love ’em for that.”

Even so, not all officers within a department will necessarily be supportive or knowledgeable of the LGBT community, which is why Martin acts as a liaison. She says she acts as a “point of contact for LGBT individuals that don’t want to call a random police officer.”
The recent brutal beating of transgender woman Duanna Johnson by Memphis cops in February of this year is indicative that discrimination is still a potential within any police force.

Martin says that while every rookie in the DPD receives four hours of LGBT training, one hour specifically on transgenderism, not all LGBT police on the force are out of the closet. In fact, she says most gay cops are not. As to why, she says “for various personal reasons.”
Though she did not comment upon LGBT discrimination inside the DPD, she said she “has not heard of a single case in which an LGBT officer was not backed because they were gay.”

Martin also addressed the MCDC group regarding the “bathroom issue”. For crossdressers and transgender individuals, it is not always clear which restrooms are safe and legal. Martin says, “It is not against the law to use the restroom.” She says to use the restroom that corresponds to the gender you are presenting in.
Dallas Ordinance 24927, which was passed under Mayor Laura Miller in 2002, includes the prohibition of discrimination based upon sexual orientation, where sexual orientation was defined as including an individual’s “real or perceived gender identity”.

Martin said even with such an ordinance, “Any private business can kick a person from their business.” She says if it is private property, then you are only allowed on that property by privilege. She said for example, if a restaurant asks you to leave, then you have to leave. And you have to pay your bill too regardless of whether or not you are kicked out. “You can be arrested for not paying your bill.”

Martin is optimistic about the changes in the DPD and their LGBT training course. She says their goal is not so much about gaining acceptance, but rather about acknowledgement and respect. She encourages police officers to respect transgender individuals as well and to be direct about asking a person’s legal gender if they are unsure. She says, “I encourage male officers to get female officers to search those presenting as female.” By doing so, it shows respect to the individual.

For more information on MCDC and the Resource Center, visit www.metrocd.com and Resource Center Dallas.

For more on this story, see here.

Story by Renee Baker, Edge Publications, Sept. 25, 2008.

When Jack E. Jett was younger, his mother told him showbiz was a dirty business. So today, he wears The Glove for protection. It is latex. It is yellow. It is his trademark. Last weekend, The Glove and Jett appeared at JR’s Bar and Grill in Oak Lawn for the debut of his Dallas Rational Radio program – The Jack E. Jett Show.

Rational Radio is AM’s alternative to conservative political radio. With a 50,000 Watt maximum “blowtorch of truth” station, they took over the unsung liberal airwaves on July 1st. According to Jack Bishop, manager at AM 1360 KMNY, “We are the progressive and liberal answer to the five other conservative stations in Dallas.”

“With Jack E. Jett,” says Rational Radio sales manager Tony Migura, “we are trying to bring all communities together, not just the races, but the human race”. It sounds like a lofty goal, but with a potential of six to eight million viewers in National syndication and Jett’s television celebrity status, they may just do that. Regardless of their national success, if a high energy, irreverent version of Jon Stewart of the Daily Show is your cup of tea, then you better tune in because it looks like Jett will be leaving liberal contrails all over the sky.

Jett’s debut show started out big with singer Belinda Carlisle of the Go-Go’s and firebrand comic Sandra Bernhard. Bernhard has a soft spot for Jett and made no bones about how Dallas needs him on the air. “You have a unique and wonderful voice and it should always reach the masses.”

Jett promises to be bizarre and humorous and definitely not shy about his views on politicians. On Sarah Palin, Vice Presidential running mate of Republican John McCain, he said, “If there is anything we need for our President is a moose wrestler.” Jett’s partner, John Gennusa, pointed out, “John McCain has had four melanomas and if he gets one more, Palin could be our President.”

Watching the show produced kept the JR’s audience on pins and needles as everything is timed and choreographed to a T. From a radio listener’s perspective, everything went off with no major hitches, excepting perhaps some volume adjustments from call-in guests and a bit of audio feedback.

JR patrons seemed to really click with Jett. Gina Cammarata said, “We are from Austin. We understand the importance of what Jett is doing. We definitely need this radio here…Dallas is a true testing ground.” Mark Sanford said, “He is fabulous! He’s injecting a much needed truth balanced with humor in Dallas radio.”
Jett said television is more organized than radio. This was his first time doing live radio and it was in front of a club audience. He is used to teleprompters and more media direction. But Jett is loving it. He said, “Radio is fun. I don’t have to wear makeup. No wardrobe. I don’t have to worry about being fat and I can tell everyone I look like Brad Pitt.”

If you dare listen to the Jack E. Jett show, tune in to AM 1360 on Saturdays and Sundays from 1:00 p.m. until 3:00 p.m. Learn more about the madcap radio and TV personality on his website at (archived http://www.jackejett.com).

Story by Renee Baker, Edge Publications, Sept. 4, 2008.

After he was threatened, assaulted and thrown in the trash for being both gay and Asian, Jimmy Bounthavy became a recluse and dropped out of North Dallas High School. With the help of the newly-formed GED program at Youth First Texas, Bounthavy is now proud to be the first of six to go to college in his whole family.

Bounthavy came out at a young age, in middle school, without fanfare. He did well in school and says it was a fun time. That didn’t last long. “When I hit high school, everything changed,” he says. Bounthavy was harassed and bullied. He was called names and threatened. “A group of guys there threw me in the dumpster.” To get home, he says he needed protection from two friends carrying knives, as he was once “jumped by a group of kids at the local park.”

With so much fear, Bounthavy shut himself down. He no longer mingled with other people, and didn’t have many friends. “Eventually, he dropped out of high school altogether. His family was disappointed, and he didn’t want to let them down, but with his fear of harassment, he felt he had no choice. “I became very afraid of the world,” he says. “I just couldn’t go back there.”

Bounthavy found hope in Youth First Texas, a nonprofit center supporting GLBTQ youth in North Texas. A friend told him about it one day so he went to the youth center to find out what it was all about. He found acceptance there. Nobody judged him and he could just simply be himself. “Youth First is like a second home to me. Everyone is so welcoming and the volunteers are wonderful. I can be who I want to be here.”

Bounthavy also said he attempted suicide over 20 times and he would be dead now, were not for Youth First. Suicide attempts are not uncommon for GLBT youth. According to a large sample youth study recently released by Youth First Texas, 47% have attempted suicide in their lifetime and 17% have tried within the last year. The good news is that there is support and hope, and Youth First Texas is making a difference.

Education is his new ticket of hope. He became the first student in the GED program at Youth First, which now has eight students. It is his ticket out of the neighborhood where he says only this last week there was murder across the street, not to mention people have kicked in his doors and broken his windows. The GED program is Bounthavy’s means to a better way of life, where he can make his mother proud.

His mother, Souphy Bounthavy, suffers from diabetes and is on disability. She is blind in one eye and is mending from a broken ankle and broken knee. There is no way she can work and send her son to another school. She is supportive though, of her son being gay, even if in a roundabout way. Bounthavy says she simply told him, “You have to learn to cook for your wife.” He said, “But mom, I’m gay.” She just repeated herself, “So. You have to learn to cook for your wife.”

The GED program that Bounthavy participates in was launched in July of this year. Judith Dumont, Director of Administration at Youth First, hopes to put 25 youth through the program each year. “With their GEDs, these youth become empowered, they feel strong inside and they develop a can-do attitude. It gives the youth a necessary bridge to continue on in a community college or a university, or move onto a technical school, or get into a professional opportunity.”

Dumont says watching Bounthavy go through a complete turnaround in the last six months has been beautiful to watch. “He does his homework every day and he comes to his tutoring classes three times per week”, she says. Dumont is proud he took the bold step of being the “seed” student for the GED program – now seven others have enrolled. Dumont says Bounthavy’s self-esteem has really shot up and you can see it in his smile. He is now an ambassador for the youth center and speaks at DISD and SMU about his life and experience at the center.

Holding back tears, Dumont recalls Bounthavy’s recent dream last week. “He was so excited when he came into the center and yelled, ’Judith! I had this dream! I was back in my old high school. I told my favorite teachers that I made it and I didn’t give up! Then, all of a sudden, I was in this big beautiful school, and trying to find my new classes.’” Dumont can hardly contain herself when she tells how his world is beginning to expand.
Bounthavy takes his final GED test in October and hopes to make his mother proud. He says, “I want to let her see me grow up and go to college and graduate and be a successful person.”

The GED program at Youth First Texas is not expensive, but they do need sponsors for each youth. The cost of books and supplies for each youth is only $100, but it gives the youth a new lease on life.
More information about Youth First Texas is available at www.youthfirsttexas.org.

For more on this story, click here.