Asexuality is a sexual orientation, but in the sense of not having an attraction to others. The best estimate that we have today is that about one in a hundred people fall in the asexual spectrum. Like everything, we fall on sexuality spectrums and most people want a way to describe their sexuality. If you define or are considering defining as asexual, do trust that I consider asexuality just another part of the wonderful diversity of humanity. As with the LGBT community, the asexual community is still struggling for visibility, acceptance and understanding. A great place to understand asexuality more, is Julie Sondra Decker’s book, The Invisible Orientation.
In the asexual community, it is common to talk about romantic orientation which is about having romantic feelings for others, but without the sex drive that non-asexual individuals frequently ascribe to their sexuality automatically. If you do not have romantic feelings at all toward others, then you may want to describe yourself as a-romantic. If you do have romantic feelings to others, you might consider describing yourself as hetero-romantic, homo-romantic, bi-romantic, poly-romantic or pan-romantic among other ways. If you are neither romantic or a-romantic, then you might be in between and define as gray-romantic. If you only feel romance to those you become emotionally care about, then you might be demi-romantic.
It seems complex, but that is because humans are very diverse! If you would like help on any of the likewise diverse identity and relationship issues, of course I am happy to help.
Here are some resources that might help as well!
- Ace Survivors
- The Asexual Agenda
- Asexual Advice
- Asexual Outreach
- Asexual Sexologist
- Asexuality Archive
- Asexuality, Visibility and Education Network
- Asexual Awareness Week
- DFW Asexuals